Plumber’s Floss

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Why do I seem to be destined to have my eyes singed by people who insist on wearing thongs – those things that are supposed to make it look as though you aren’t wearing any underwear – in ways that make it obvious that they are wearing a thong?

If the whole point of wearing the thong is to make people think that you have no underwear on (and, hey, you don’t, but at least you get to feel virtuous and pretend to yourself that you do) then WHY THE F*CK are you ensuring that the world sees your thong, along with the crack into which it is wedged?

It’s really too bad that this picture didn’t come out better, so that you could see this phenomenon, which I have christened “Plumber’s Floss”, in action, but take my word for it – the thin black line above the top of her pants is to scale – one thread = one thread – it’s the waistband (and I use the term loosely) of her thong, which you can easily see snaking its way down her gorge for about 2 inches until it hits bottom (really, you can’t see it in the picture, which I was trying to take on the sly (although it did occur to me to ask her “Excuse me, do you mind if I take a picture of your thong and the exposed top half of your plumber’s cleft?” – but then, what if she said “no”?) – but I promise you it’s all there – if you look from her arm on down, it’s obvious where her actual waist is – and where the top of her pants isn’t):


“Plumber’s Floss”. I like that. It has a certain ring to it, and even without a picture, you know exactly what I mean.

Plumber’s Floss. Look for it on a clueless ass near you.

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