Among the most bizarre of news this week is that police in Florida have circulated a memo about jenkem – also known as Leroy Jenkems, butthash, winnie, runners, fruit from crack pipe, might, and waste. And, oh yes, also known as ‘shit’. Because, you see, the recipe for making jenkem is take some feces, take some urine, combine, let ferment, and inhale. Eeeww! Giving new meaning – in all senses – to the term “now that’s some good shit!”

Of course, this was quickly denounced as the “Jenkem Urband Legend” – but is it really an urban legend? Well, no, at least not with regards to the main facts – and yes, the Collier County Sheriff’s Office Criminal Intelligence Bureau really did issue this bulletin.

The bulletin reads, in part, “On 09/19/07 Cpl. Disarro received and email from a concerned parent regarding a new drug called “Jenkem”. The parent advised their child learned about this drug through various conversations with several students at Palmetto Ridge High.

Jenkem originated in Africa and other third world countries by fermenting raw sewage to create a gas which is inhaled to achieve a high. Jenkem is now a popular drug in American Schools.

Jenkem is a homemade substance which consists of fecal matter and urine. The fecal matter and urine are placed in a bottle or jar and covered most commonly with a balloon. The container is then placed in a sunny area for several hours or days until fermented. The contents of the container will separate and release a gas, which is captured in the balloon. Inhaling the gas is said to have a euphoric high similar to ingesting cocaine but with strong hallucinations of times past.

Once ingested the onset of the high takes approximately 10 seconds with the most severe hallucinations happening in approximately 20 minutes. Several articles indicate that the subject immediately passes out after ingesting the gas then regains a magical/hallucinogenic state within seconds of regaining consciousness.”

This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the aptly named Mange Merde.

Oh, by the way, the memo also says that “All subjects who used the Jenkem disliked the taste of sewage in their mouth and the fact that the taste continued for several days.”

No shit?

P.S. By the way, according to SNOPES, the bulletin and the facts contained therein are true, but the fact that the use of jenkem is on the rise in Florida, or indeed anywhere, is false.

P.P.S. If you want to read the bulletin for yourself, you can download the jenkem bulletin here in PDF format.

Recently I was asked why we homeschool – about our reasons aside from “the public school system sucks”, and such.

And here is how I answered:

We homeschool because we know that the homeschooling option stands head and shoulders above any other alternative.

We homeschool because nobody – *nobody* – will care as much about your own child’s education as will you.

We homeschool because nobody can know how better to teach to your own child’s unique learning style – to make sure that they understand and can internalize key concepts, than can you.

We homeschool because our child is very smart, and very gregarious, and he would have been bored in a more uniform learning setting, and being bored, he would have acted up, gotten into trouble, and been labelled.

We homeschool because it allows us to help ensure that our child grows up in a safe, wholesome, nurturing environment, where the social risks, while not eradicated, are at least reduced, and we can keep a better eye on what is going on, in a society where guns, drugs, alcohol and sex are rampant in schools – and that’s just in the middle schools!

We homeschool because we have a son, and as such he is in one of the most discriminated-against groups in this country today – white males – and perhaps nowhere is this more evident than in this country’s school system, where (last I researched) fully 10% of all children in public schools were on Ritalin, and *80%* of those were boys – where their “condition” for which they were being drugged was that genetic malady known more commonly as “being a boy.” Funny how a prescription of “just running around and running energy off” works so much better. We give him that medicine.

Here’s a bit of medical information for you: You can get an infection in your fingertip – an infection near or under your finger nail – even without an obvious hangnail or cut! The condition, known as paronychia, can be very painful. I should know – because I was diagnosed with it yesterday!

It all started with the side of my finger tip starting to hurt, for no reason I could discern. I hadn’t jammed or slammed it, and I had no hang nail or other dead skin that I had tugged – my fingertip and fingernail, as best as I could tell, were intact.

In fact there was no visible sign of trauma or damage at all – no bruising, no swelling, nothing.
But it kept hurting, and eventually it started throbbing. So badly that it kept me awake, or woke me up, for two nights. By the middle of the second night I figured it was time to see a doctor, which I did as soon as I could in the morning. By this time my finger tip was swollen, but that was still the only visible symptom.

The doctor diagnosed it as paronychia – an infection near the fingernail – and loaded me up with antibiotics, and prescribed warm epsom salt and water soaks four times a day, and Advil for the pain.

After the first epsom salts soak, my finger showed a neon green bit around the nail, and some lovely bruise-purple tones around that.

See for yourself – and be glad that the picture isn’t in good focus!

And I won’t even tell you what came out when I lanced the neon green with a syringe..yuck!

So, if your finger tip starts hurting for no apparent reason, and doesn’t stop – or show another obvious cause – get it checked out. Because an unchecked internally contained infection can get pretty serious.

I’m telling you..again.. in Boulder even the view from Target is amazing!

Oh yes, and to add to the pictures in my previous post, showing the drive in to my new office, here is a picture as I turn in to the driveway at my new office here in Boulder (which is on the right in this picture):

For those of you who have questioned why we moved from Silicon Valley in California to Boulder, Colorado, I offer these pictures of my drive into the office today:

Boulder, Colorado… where the only thing more ubiquitous than free wifi is Crocs. Although Subarus are a close second.