There are some parts of an animal that just are not made to be eaten. And that would include a chicken’s ring. But apparently nobody told country star Dwight Yoakam that, as he just launched a food called, I kid you not, “Dwight Yoakam’s Chicken Rings”.

Obviously, these are the opposite of “chicken tenders”, or perhaps a companion piece.

In fact, if you wanted to reconstruct a chicken’s nether regions from foodstuff you’d take two chicken tenders, one chicken ring, and a chicken ding (of course you’ll need to find a McDonald’s, a store selling Dwight Yoakam’s Chicken Rings, and a chinese restuarant all within reasonable proximity of each other). (Whaddaya mean that’s not what the ‘ding’ is? You tell me then what part of the chicken is chicken almond ding made from? And how do they even find that tiny little ding to make shrimp almond ding?)

You don’t believe me, do you? Would it help if I told you that the full name of this delicacy is “Dwight Yoakum’s Chicken Lickin’s Chicken Rings”?

No, probably not.

Ok, if you insist, here’s a picture:

Man, those are some big chickens!

Bon appetit!

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