Teen tennis phenom Simona Halep has two things going for her – her incredible tennis chops and her youth – and two things going against her: her breasts.

The 17-year old tennis star, originally from Romania, is slated for a breast reduction surgery in the fall, to reduce her greatest handicap – a pair of 34DD breasts, the weight of which, she says, are hampering her game.

While perhaps worthy of a news story or two, the situation has achieved international incident status as howls of anguish and outrage from her – or rather their – fans, are being heard around the world. There is even talk of an online petition, begging her to spare the most beloved set in tennis since Andre and Steffi.

Those who are keeping abreast of the situation through online comments are already making their voices heard, and the score seems to be 2 Love.

“Noooo…. there are so many professions where huge breasts are badly needed…. Please, Simona, do not do it!” begged one fan of the pair.

“There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours,” exhorted another.

Added a third “And there goes the only two reasons to watch tennis.”

Wow, apparently we haven’t come a long way, baby.

First, please note that it is not April 1st. Now, U.S. company Laser Energetics, Inc., has announced the “Dazer Laser”, a non-lethal weapon that incapacitates the subject by causing them to puke their guts out. Seriously.

According to Robert Battis, CEO of Laser Energetics, “This life saving non-lethal weapon will help all branches of the military, law enforcement, correctional facilities, security, border patrol, piracy control, homeland security, airport security and much more, adding that “This weapon is humanitarian and will save the lives of both the enforcer and the threat at longer ranges. No longer will the enforcer have to risk their lives to bring the threat in closer to them in order to engage them, which puts the enforcers life at risk.”

The Dazer Laser emits a continuous laser beam that creates an approximately 1 foot by 8 foot “Dazer zone”, and, when aimed at the subject (or “threat”, as Laser Energetics calls them), “the threats vision is temporarily impaired, their balance is effected, and they become affected by nausea.” And, says the company, because it emits a continuous beam, “if the enforcer misses they can continue to aim the beam at the threats face until they hit the target, unlike other non-lethal weapons that have to be reloaded and only work at close range endangering the enforcer.”

Interesting, the Dazer Laser press release announced that they had “begun rolling out the all new Dazer Laserâ„¢ Light Fighting Technologies – Non – Lethal Laser Weapon at the largest and longest running Memorial Day Parade in the United States.

How, exactly, it was “rolled out” is unknown, but Battis observed that “This was the most appropriate place to begin our role out of the ‘Ultimate Non-Lethal Weapon’.”

Welcome to baking soda 101: uses for baking soda you may never have heard of. Read on and you’ll understand why I order baking soda 12 pounds at a time – because there are so many cool baking soda uses!

This all started because of this post: What Do You Get When You Mix 12 Pounds of Baking Soda with 2 Gallons of Vinegar?

Enquiring minds wanted to know why I needed to order baking soda in 12-pound packages. The answer is below, along with lots of other uses for baking soda.

While I will be posting various useful and nifty baking soda uses, I hope that you will add to the list!

To start with, and to answer everybody’s question – why do I need twelve pounds of baking soda…

1. Goats need it in their diet. And they love it. Seriously, they eat it straight. It’s at once both adorable and disgusting.

2. For that same reason, baking soda is a great scouring powder for the cement patio where your goats hang out. It’s a non-toxic and goat-yummy alternative to Ajax or Comet.

3. Mix a little in with your shampoo once or twice a week to remove all of that waxy build-up.

4. Mix a little in with your toothpaste once or twice a week, or even daily, to boost the power of your toothpaste, and for kissing-sweet breath.

5. Use as a gentle exfolient on your face.

6. Use to dowse electrical or chemical fires.

7. Add 1/4 to 1/2 cup to your laundry.

8. Use to wash produce.

9.   (Your tip here)  

While ordering the largest container of baking soda that I could find (don’t ask), I came across this interesting tidbit on Amazon:

I don’t know who these people are, but:

a) Their kids are going to have a lot of fun, and

b) I hope it’s not our neighbours.

Either this newspaper needs to hire better writers, or swine flu may just turn out to have been a student’s senior project.

Can you believe that this is our little baby? (Or that she’ll be one year old in just a couple of weeks?!)

It’s been a while since I posted a “WTF is she wearing? post, but I think that you’ll agree that it was worth the wait….

Galaxy Quest called..they want their tin pants back….

I just need to take a moment to sing the praises of and thank my dear friend Rob.

Rob is such a star. Not only did he drive to the train station to pick up my jacket (after having, he thought, gotten out of having to pick us up at the train station – as another dear friend, Sandy, picked us up), and not only did he get up early in the morning today to take us to the train station this morning – but he got up even earlier to bake us fresh-baked bread, and homemade mozzarella cheese!

Here’s a picture of these delectable delicacies with which Rob sent us off.

Girls, the woman who wins Rob’s currently-single heart will be a lucky girl indeed! (His Facebook profile is here.)