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First, please note that it is not April 1st. Now, U.S. company Laser Energetics, Inc., has announced the “Dazer Laser”, a non-lethal weapon that incapacitates the subject by causing them to puke their guts out. Seriously.

According to Robert Battis, CEO of Laser Energetics, “This life saving non-lethal weapon will help all branches of the military, law enforcement, correctional facilities, security, border patrol, piracy control, homeland security, airport security and much more, adding that “This weapon is humanitarian and will save the lives of both the enforcer and the threat at longer ranges. No longer will the enforcer have to risk their lives to bring the threat in closer to them in order to engage them, which puts the enforcers life at risk.”

The Dazer Laser emits a continuous laser beam that creates an approximately 1 foot by 8 foot “Dazer zone”, and, when aimed at the subject (or “threat”, as Laser Energetics calls them), “the threats vision is temporarily impaired, their balance is effected, and they become affected by nausea.” And, says the company, because it emits a continuous beam, “if the enforcer misses they can continue to aim the beam at the threats face until they hit the target, unlike other non-lethal weapons that have to be reloaded and only work at close range endangering the enforcer.”

Interesting, the Dazer Laser press release announced that they had “begun rolling out the all new Dazer Laserâ„¢ Light Fighting Technologies – Non – Lethal Laser Weapon at the largest and longest running Memorial Day Parade in the United States.

How, exactly, it was “rolled out” is unknown, but Battis observed that “This was the most appropriate place to begin our role out of the ‘Ultimate Non-Lethal Weapon’.”