Having been steeped in – and indeed something of an acknowledge expert in – mens’ rights issues, I of course know that there are a whole bunch of angry men out there who feel violated because they were circumcised, and wish they hadn’t been. The anti-circumcision movement is big. If you know, you know. If you don’t, you may not believe me (in which case you may wish to visit the website of NoCirc).

However, even I was a bit surprised to read today that there is a new product out – the artificial foreskin from Viafin-Atlas. It’s called SenSlip.

And if you are offended or easily embarrased by the clinically accurate words for certain parts of the male anatomy, you should stop reading right now.

According to the SenSlip site, “Being circumcised affects the natural operation, appearance and sensitivity of the penis. During recent years much medical research has been carried out in several countries into the function and purpose of the foreskin. There is now conclusive medical evidence that a circumcised penis with the glans exposed has less nerve receptors and is less effective than a naturally covered penis.

Over the years the exposed glans becomes less sensitive. There is well-documented evidence which shows that this can, and often does, have a disastrous effect on sexual performance, its consequences, and ultimately, on self esteem.

The SenSlip range of artificial retractable foreskins is available in different sizes, to allow for variation between individuals. With ten sizes we want you to be fitted correctly right from the start. (See fitting chart)”

Yes, there is actually a fitting chart.

Viafin-Atlas advises us that the SenSlip can provide, among other things:

Not only that, but there are how-to photos and video! (No, I have not viewed them, nor do I intend to.)

But I did find this somehow humourous:

“The SenSlip is a very flexible garment for the penis. It is available in Caucasian Pink and now in a Mid-Brown color.”

Just in case you were wondering.

Ok, obviously child molestation is no laughing matter. But the lawyer in me (and don’t you wish that you had a lawyer in you?) had to chuckle when I read this actual headline from the San Jose Mercury News:

“Child molester gets 800-year prison sentence”

… but his lawyers think that they can get it reduced to 600 years with time off for good behaviour.

Ba-dum-bum.

I’d figured that relative unknown (at least in these parts) Bill Richardson, who is the Mexican-American Governor of New Mexico, declared his candidacy with these thoughts: “Wow, a woman and an African-American! If ever there was a chance for a Mexican-American to get elected president, it’s now! Running against these two will make me look positively electable!”

But with Giuliani declaring his candidacy this weekend, who knows what direction things will take? Would America rather have a woman, an African-American, a Mexican-American, or a nice (yeah, Italian-American, but let’s face it, white) guy who.. uh..oh yeah, cheated on his wife while in public office?

This weekend Giuliani said that he is “committed” (to the presidential race).

Would that be as committed as he was to his marriage?

Will the country really forget, or forgive, or not think about what sort of person cheats on their spouse, then lets their spouse find out at the same time as does the rest of the world by announcing it in a press conference? Does he really have a shot at being elected? The scary thing is, yes, he does.

What does a country do when none of the choices are really choices?

Do we elect presidents now the same way we channel surf? Looking not for something that is great, but something that is “least bad”?

I still wish that Iacocca had run, back in the day.

You know who I think would have had a chance in the 2004 elections?

Michael Douglas.

It’s not unprecedented for an actor to run for president, and the world knew and loved him as the Commander in Chief from the “West Wing”. He’d have been a shoo-in. I’m not saying he would have made a good president, just that a media-fed public would have elected him.

So who do you think would make a good candidate?

I’m really glad that they are searching for extra terrestrial intelligence. I think it’s a great idea. I hope they find some soon, because there surely is a shortage right now.

You would think that after making the grade to be an astronaut, for chrissakes, you’d be past the high school drama of “do you like him? You know, like like him?”

But apparently not.

Of course, adult astronaut high school drama calls for something a bit more advanced than spit balls and name calling.

And that’s why shuttle astronaut Lisa Nowak – make that Captain Lisa Marie Nowak – drove nearly 1000 miles, put on a disguise, and attempted to kidnap fellow (um..what is the feminine version of “fellow”?) astronaut Colleep Shipman.

The object of Nowak’s affection is Navy Cmdr. William Oefelein, with whom Nowak believed Shipman had become romantically involved.

The best part of this is that after she drove nearly 1000 miles, put on a disguise, followed Shipman (while carrying with her a steel mallet, a BB gun, a folding knife, pepper spray, gloves, rubber tubing and trashbags), attempted to kidnap Shipman, and got arrested for her trouble, Nowak – a married mother of three – described her own relationship with William Oefelein as “more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship.”

BWahahahahaahahah! So Shipman was a rival exactly for…what??

“Do you like him? I mean really like like him?”

But I have to say that the most interesting tidbit I gleaned while reading about this sad, sad state of affairs (or, rather, non affairs) was this:

“Astronauts wear diapers during launch and re-entry.”

I couldn’t make this stuff up.

We’ve all seen them – the ridiculous ads that result when folks advertise eBay listings through Google Adsense. But this one takes the cake. Just in case you haven’t been .. ahem … keeping abreast of just how ridiculous they can get, take a gander at this ad that is currently appearing on this very site, on the page praising saggy breasts:

Honest to God, I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t see it with my own two eyes. Atech Flash Technology (AFT) is marketing a stereo iPod dock toilet paper holder. I kid you not. They call it the iCarta iPod Dock with Bath Tissue Holder. They can call it whatever they want – it’s really a toiler paper holder with an iPod dock.

The iCarta Bathroom Stationary iPod Dock has the following features, among others:

Under what circumstances would you want or need to fold away the toiler-paper holding arms (which, don’t forget, house two of the four speakers) and use the thing just as a dock?

But the line which caused me to shower my keyboard in tea was this:

“The iCarta features two tweeters as well as two woofers.”

Our bathroom already has enough tweeting and woofing going on thank you very much.

Don’t believe me? You can see it, and even buy the iCarta Stereo Dock with Bath Tissue Holder at Amazon.

(Or just click on the picture.)

(P.S. Why do I keep wanting to call it the iCrapa?)