Women Look at Men Who Drink as 1 of 3 Things

Last night I shared something with my husband which, as I was saying it, I realized that few men actually know. It’s another one of those woman-secrets which, being the mens’ rights advocate that I am, I delight in sharing with “the enemy”.

Here it is:

Women look at men who like to go out drinking as one of three things, and if you’re a guy who regularly goes out with the guys, you will be categorized in one of these three ways by most women who know you. You are either:

1. A drinking buddy

2. Rehabitable

3. Reprehensible

Of the three, being seen by a woman as a drinking buddy is by far the rarest of the three categories into which you will find yourself pigeon-holed.

If the woman wants to have (or already has) a romantic relationship with you, then you are “rehabitable.”

If, however, you fall into just about any other relationship category – including being romantically involved with one of her friends or relatives, or being a drinking buddy of someone else with whom she is romantically involved, then you will almost certainly find yourself slotted into the “reprehensible” category.

Now, how many of you knew that?

Goats in Coats

Yes, it’s very cold here in Colorado, folks. And while our goats have little insulated houses to sleep in, they don’t have a nice heated barn, and so we were a bit worried about them.
And so, yes, they are wearing coats.
P.S. They are only closed in the pen at night when they sleep – otherwise the pen is open and they have free range of our large yard. These pictures were taken when we went out in the morning to feed them and let them out.

Kiss My Eardrum

A Chinese man has deafened his girlfriend during the throes of passion by kissing her so zealously and passionately that the air pressure in her mouth dropped so dramatically as to rupture her eardrum.

According to a doctor at the hospital at which she presented, having been completely deafened in her left ear, “The kiss reduced pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear.”

Ouch!

The report went on to say that “While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution.”

Wow, it really sucked to be her.

Please Take a Moment to Send Positive Thoughts for this Wounded Sea Lion

This is the quick and dirty post – just copied and pasted directly from what my daughter (creator of the awesome fashion shows to benefit animals organization, FABShows.org just emailed me. It’s heartbreaking but maybe – just maybe – our collective positive thoughts can make a difference. Please read on.

“There has been a sea lion here in the Sacramento River, he traveled from the San Francisco Bay. He has been hanging out on the Delta here outside of, of all places, Joe’s Crab Shack restaurant :). He kind of became known amongst the locals and I could even hear him vocalizing from my house when I lived in West Sacramento. Well anyways, he was shot by a fisherman here in Sacramento who claimed the sea lion was eating all his fish. Marine Mammal Center was able to finally rescue him on Saturday (after he had swam all the way back to the SF bay, and then all the way back up to Sacramento again). He’s in critical condition and has a 50/50 shot of making it at this point. So just trying to get as much positive vibe going for him as possible! Here’s the story: http://cbs13.com/local/sea.lion.shot.2.1360802.html
The fisherman, by the way, has been arrested and charged with felony cruelty to animals.”

You can reach my daughter on Twitter at @AnimalRescueGal.

No Longer Looking for a Carved Oriental Zodiac Table

For years my signature (.sig) file on Usenet included that I was “looking for a carved oriental zodiac table.” In fact, this Google groups search reveals several hundred hits, all of them me. I’m no longer looking. After 20 years, I’ve finally got one.

It all started with a visit to the Asian curio shop in Maple Leaf Village in Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada. I used to live just cross the bridge from there, and went to visit often. This particular visit, I saw the most incredible table – it was a coffee table, the bulk of which was carved out of a single piece of wood, with figures from the Chinese zodiac carved in very high relief down into the top of the table.

It was gorgeous.

The craftmanship was exquisite.

I WANTED THAT TABLE!

But at the time, it was waaaaay out of my price range. It was $1500 even back then, and I, a single mother supporting herself and her child, and putting herself through university, didn’t even have a spare $1.50, let alone a spare $1500.

I’ve been searching for that table, or one like it, ever since. Every few months I’d do a web search… every time I walked past an Asian furniture or curio shop I’d go in and ask them if they’d ever seen anything like it. I even called that store several years ago, and they remembered the table, and that it had sold to a doctor in North Carolina, but that’s all they knew – or I would have called that doctor and asked him to sell it to me.

Finally, about six months ago, and after 20 years, I gave up. I stopped searching, stopped going into the stores.

Yesterday, searching on Craigslist for something else completely (a work table), out of the blue this listing turned up in my search results. What were the odds??

There was my table.

Not the one from 20 years ago – but the same type of table – the same style, the same incredible craftmanship.

It had been listed that very day, at a firesale price because the young couple, with a new baby, needed to get rid of it.

Amazing.

And now it’s mine.

And so, my search is over. I am no longer Looking for a Carved Oriental Zodiac Table. I am now She with the Amazing Table.

Here it is:

The Best Fruitcake Recipe – and It’s a Non Alcoholic Fruitcake Recipe!

This is the best fruit cake recipe ever. And it’s an alcohol-free fruit cake recipe, too, even though it’s one that you baste and let age and cure! Yummy, aged, and non-alcoholic. What more could you ask of a fruitcake?

This recipe is based on a recipe that Mike from Houston gave me when I posted a request for a great fruitcake recipe on the Usenet group rec.food.cooking, years ago.

He in turn got it via Tom Lester.

This fruitcake should be made several weeks – at very least 2 or 3 weeks – before you plan to serve it. Four or five weeks ahead is even better. Do not try it before it has cured – it is icky until it has aged a few weeks, and then it’s heavenly.

The Best Ever Fruitcake

1 lb candied red cherries (reserve 8 or so for decoration)
1 lb candied citron peel
1/2 lb candied orange peel
1 lb dried sweetened pineapple (you can use candied pineapple, but dried is nicer)
1 lb figs, chopped
1 lb raisins
1 lb pitted dates, chopped (you can use the pre-formed and coated date pellets, but they aren’t nearly as nice)
1/2 lb currants
1/2 lb golden raisins
2 1/2 lb pecans – chop all but a handful to use for decoration
1/4 lb walnuts, chopped

1 lb butter, softened
12 eggs
1 cup molasses
3 1/2 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups granulated sugar

1 Tablespoon cinnamon
1 Tablespoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon allspice
1 Tablespoon vanilla
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cloves
2/3 cup apple cider or apple juice juice
1 teaspoon brandy extract

Bottle vanilla syrup (such as Torani or Monin brand, like they have in coffee shops)

Mix fruit and nuts together in an enormous bowl (we have to use our big stock pot).

Dissolve the baking soda in the molassess and set aside.
Mix the brandy extract into the apple cider and set aside.

Mix about three tablespoons of the flour in with the fruits and nuts, mixing thoroughly so that each individual piece has some flour on it, so that nothing sticks to anything else. Set aside.

Cream butter well, and then add the eggs, sugar, molasses & baking soda, the
spices, the vanilla, the cider & brandy extract, and the rest of the flour. Mix thoroughly.

Pour batter over fruit and nuts, and mix and mix and mix, until completely mixed.

Preheat oven to 225.

Press batter into baking pans that have been well-greased, then lined with parchment paper. The recipe will make 8 8″ loaves, although you can put it in just about any pan so long as you don’t pack it more than about 2 1/2 to 3 inches deep. I like to put it in mini-tube pans.

Cut reserved cherries in half, and use along with the reserved pecans to decorate the top of the fruitcakes. (See picture below.)

Put in oven, and be sure to put a pan of water on the rack below it.

Bake 3-4 hours, being sure to start checking half-way through. Don’t let the bottom pan run out of water. Fruitcakes are done when cracks appear all over the top – or when a toothpick comes out clean and they seem otherwise done (here at altitude for some reason the cracks don’t appear).

Let fruitcakes cool completely, then remove from pans.

Mix a teaspoon of brandy extract into about a cup of the vanilla syrup, and brush outside of fruitcakes with the mixture. Then wrap each fruitcake individually in wax paper, then foil, and store in cool place for at least two to three weeks – longer is better. If you like, you can brush them every week with more syrup mixture.

Vegan UGGs Boots – Half the Price and None of the Suffering

I was so excited to find Vegan UGG Boots – well, Vegan UGG style boots, that is – and for a fraction of the price of actual UGGs! And they are so comfortable! All of the comfort, half the price, and none of the suffering!

And actually, they are generally not even half the price – with genuine UGG boots running between $90 and $160, the vegan UGG-style boots are a real bargain at $30 to $35 dollars.

Yes, you read that right – Vegan UGGs are only $30 to $35 a pair!

It seems counter-intuitive that a specialty boot – vegan boots – would be so much less expensive, but when you think about it, it really does make sense. After all, think about what has to go into making each type of boot.

I ordered the black vegan Uggs, but I have to tell you that I am sorely tempted to order the purple ones!

One note: because I’m in Colorado, and it’s winter, I waterproofed the heck out of these with three coats of shoe waterproofing for fabric shoes. It worked great, and it had no effect on how the boots looked at all.

You can find links for both the black and purple vegan UGG boots below, along with a few others.

A Novel New Source of Automobile Fuel

Even though gasoline prices have dropped recently, this summer’s spike in fuel prices precipitated a sharp new focus on alternative fuels.

Here in Colorado, there is an experiment in using local natural resources as an alternative fuel:

The Perfect Vegetarian Thanksgiving Turkey Subtitute for those Vegetarians at Your Table on Thanksgiving!

We’ve been using this in our family for years as a vegetarian substitute for turkey on Thanksgiving. Everyone – and I mean EVERYONE – including meat eaters, and even people who don’t typically like turkey – loves it! And it’s so easy! Just heat and eat!

Even better, it’s soy-free, very low fat, and has 14 grams of protein per serving!

So what is this incredible turkey substitute?

It’s the Quorn brand chicken ‘roast’ which, this year I see, they actually have renamed to be called “Turk’y Roast”! They must have heard me raving all these years about what a great turkey substitute it is, and this year decided to give Tofurky (yuck) a run for its money!

It’s about time. Because this product is a perfect vegetarian turkey substitute.

Most grocery stores carry Quorn products now in their freezer section – look for the bright orange boxes, usually near the veggie burgers.

Whole Foods has them on sale right now for just $4.99!

And, while I have you here, I hope that you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Here’s what we’re having for our Thanksgiving dinner:

Brie topped with warm cranberry compote
Individual custard-baked-in-a-pumpkin (recipe available upon request)
Salad
Quorn turkey roast
Homemade whole cranberry sauce, cranberry orange relish, and cranberry-horseradish sauce
Maple glazed yams with pecans
Mashed Potatoes
Rolls
Pumpkin Cheesecake (recipe here)
Pecan Pie

(All homemade, except the rolls, and somebody else is bringing the vegetables 🙂 )

So, what are you having for Thanksgiving?

NASA Invents the Still Suit

NASA announced this week that they have developed a water distillation unit that takes urine and filters and recycles it into drinking water.

That’s right – NASA has invented the Still-Suit.

The only thing suprising is that they haven’t done it sooner – can it really be that people who make it to NASA haven’t read “Dune”? Isn’t it a requirement for application to NASA?

Now, sure, NASA’s water distillation unit isn’t actually wearable – yet. But can that be far off?

NASA’s “water regeneration system” will, according to one astronaut, “make yesterday’s coffee into today’s coffee.”

I guess when you can’t have weasel poop coffee, human urine coffee is the next best thing.

So how does the water formerly known as urine taste?

According to Bob Bagdigian, the NASA staffer who managed the development of the Still, “..it is just as refreshing as any other kind of water. I’ve got some in my fridge. It tastes fine to me.”

Well done, but geez, give credit where credit is due. We all saw Kyle MacLachlan in that Still-Suit years ago.