Starbucks Haiku

Share this merde!

I hereby announce the opening of the Starbucks haiku thread. Please submit your Starbucks haiku below.

I’ll start:

Cool smooth sweet top skin
Brown moist tender joy below
Maple oat nut scone

26 thoughts on “Starbucks Haiku

  1. Mid-day pick me up
    Triple grande latte please
    Four bucks? Usury.

    Morning work commute.
    Lawrence and El Camino
    Drive-through Starbucks. Mmmm.

    Charred bean elixir
    Legal crack for working man
    I can quit right now

  2. Need fix now, oh God
    am crack whore, without the crack
    where’s my i.v. drip?

    yes, would love pastry
    you upsell me like no other
    you sweet barista

  3. Since the one in my town is the local teen hangout and has a window seat outside, we get:

    Teenagers’ feet block-
    ing sidewalks, frappuccinos,
    stinking cigarettes

  4. A boring night class,
    The teacher drones on and on….
    Triple Latte, Please!

    Teaching at night school,
    Ungratefull students bore her….
    Triple Latte, Please!

    Students and Teachers
    Why not just meet at Starbucks?
    Triple Latte, Please!

  5. This isn’t a Haiku, but it is Starbucks-inspired non-rhyming poetry… several months ago, I suddenly realized just how many trochees they have on their menu…

    vente double decaf latte
    grande mocha cappucino
    etc. etc.

    it was all reminding me of Hiawatha
    (By the shores of Gitche Gumee,
    By the shining Big-Sea-Water,


    At the Palo Alto Starbucks
    (not the one near town and country,
    but the one on el camino —
    close to where it crosses meadow

    ordered nonfat decaf latte
    at the counter the barrista
    asked me did I want that vente?
    no, I said, just give me grande
    grande nonfat decaf latte —
    maybe could you make that double?
    double grande nonfat latte?
    nonfat decaf double latte?
    sure she said, that’s no problemo

    very soon they called my name out
    telling me my drink was ready,
    quickly I ran up and got it
    I ran up and got my latte
    got my latte from the counter
    took my latte to the table
    took it to the little table
    where they keep the sprinkly sugar
    and the stir-rods, and the holders,
    (cardboard sleeves to guard ones fingers
    from the burning heat of coffee)

    then I sprinkled chocolate on it
    sprinkled chocolate on my latte
    flecks of ghiradelli chocolate
    sprinkled onto nonfat milkfoam

    I should go on, but then I ran out of steam (r-r!)

  6. Oh, and I remember this haiku from years ago — but it wasn’t about Starbucks, just a mediocre coffee shop on campus:

    “It pisses me off —
    they always scald the milk here!”
    “Just get espresso.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.