Everyone has heard the news today that Pluto is no longer a planet. However, that’s actually not true. The truth is that they have changed the definition of “what is a planet.” In other words, it’s not that the perception of Pluto has changed; it’s that the perception of the scientific community of what constitutes a planet has changed. And this was codified today by a vote of the International Astronomical Union.

According to reports, the new definition of “planet” adopted this week by the International Astronomical Union states that a planet “has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a nearly round shape, and has cleared the neighborhood around its orbit.”

So Pluto is not a planet. But my neighbor is.

Hmm..I wonder why they call it “Bubble Gum Alley”?

You know, on second thought, I’m not sure that I want to know:

Yes, both walls, the entire length of the alley…

All ABC gum. Eeeew! We figure that there’s a PhD thesis in epidemiology just waiting to happen here.

Have you ever noticed the similarity between Little Eva’s Locomotion and Richard O’Brien’s Time Warp from the Rocky Horror Picture Show?

It came to me as I was listening to the Locomotion (yes, again, I admit, the Veggie Tales version – it’s strangely catchy). And it struck me, like a hot kiss at the end of a wet fist – she’s describing the Time Warp!

Of course, Little Eva’s Locomotion was released nearly fifteen years before O’Brien’s Time Warp.

I think that O’Brien must have listened to a lot of Little Eva as a tyke.

Compare:

“You gotta swing your hips, now. Come on, baby.
Jump up. Jump back. Well, now, I think you’ve got the knack.”

To:

“It’s just a jump to the left, And then a step to the right
With your hands on your hips, You bring your knees in tight.”

I’m just sayin’

Terrorists must be having a field day – at least if they are keeping abreast of the news. The Transportation Safety Authority has announced that they have given a lift to the ban on liquid- and gel-filled bras. The TSA announced the cleave between the rules on the curve-enhancing bras and all other goo-filled containers earlier this week.

Can it be long before women are smuggling Aquafresh in the left and Listerine in the right?

“We recognize it’s a sensitive issue,” said a TSA spokesperson, who added that they were “reaching out” to touch the gel-bra wearing community.

While the announcement was to provide support in particular those who wear gel bras for prosthetic purposes, the TSA has pledged that nobody would be “questioned about the contents of their undergarments.”

Cross your heart?

I’ve seen many a strange thing in recipes, particularly with my foray into raw food, but never before have I seen a recipe in which one is instructed to prepare an ingredient to “the size of border collie testicles”.

I couldn’t make this up. The instructions, for a raw peanut dish, call for, and I kid you not, soaking the raw peanuts “until they are the size of border collie testicles.”

Damn, now I’m going to have to get a Border collie.

Or borrow one.

Can you imagine?

“Excuse me, can I borrow your dog for a just a moment? I’d like to measure his testicles. You don’t mind, do you?”

I sure hope that nobody from the SPCA is around when I’m making this recipe.

Don’t believe me? See the recipe calling for something “the size of border collie testicles.”.

Look where all the unsuccessful sherpas end up: