As anyone who knows me will tell you, I HATE being cold. I can’t bear it. I find being cold painful. In fact, I would rather be in pain than be cold – and I’m no masochist.
So I live in sunny, warm California. Ok, I may hate the Bay area – yes, it sucks as a place to raise children. But at least one thing I could always count on is it being tolerably warm.
So WTF is this all about?
What a cruel, cruel joke to play on me!
Anyone who has looked into taking the anti-acne drug Accutane (Sotret Isotretinoin) knows that it causes birth defects. You can’t help but know that it causes birth defects, because if you are a female, you have to sign up on a registry because it causes birth defects, get counseling so that you know that it causes birth defects, prove that you are not pregnant – because it causes birth defects, and prove that you are on birth control (because, you know, it causes birth defects), before you are allowed to have even one capsule. Even then, you are only allowed a month at a time, and have to go back and check in with your doctor so that they can make sure that you still remember that it causes birth defects and have not gotten pregnant – because it causes birth defects.
Clearly, you cannot get a prescription for Accutane unless you understand that it causes birth defects.
But just to be sure – to make really really sure – that you understand that, you know – it causes birth defects, they also put a warning on the package once you get your prescription filled. Ok, that makes sense.
But in case you are a complete moron – in case you – you know – somehow forget that it causes birth defects between your indoctrination and the time your first month runs out and you have to go back to the doctor to get your next month ‘s dose of counseling about how Accutane causes birth defects before you can get your next month’s prescription – just in case, just to make really REALLY sure you know that Accutane causes birth defects, they also put a picture for you over each capsule:
But wait, there’s more. Just in case you’re such a complete moron that even that might not remind you that Accutane causes birth defects, just to make really REALLY REALLY sure that you remember that Accutane causes birth defects – well, this is the first warning label that I’ve ever seen that comes with a diagram:
Imagine if other warning labels came with diagrams!
It’s only the second morning that I have woken up with little hair, but already I am finding so many fringe benefits.
In addition to those mentioned in my previous post – the anticipated ones – I have been delighted to observe these uncontemplated benefits:
– only one towel needed after a shower now
– I don’t have to deal with trying to keep my hair out of the way when washing my face
– this is the ultimate wash and go (or heck, roll out of bed and go) hairstyle. It just looks good without my doing *anything* *at all* to it
This is so #$%^&* liberating!
Oh Starbucks, the 70s called… they want their furniture back…
And this is why I love old Volvo wagons…
On election day, I got a CNN news flash email. With it being election day and all (and late afternoon) I figured that it was probably some early return election upset or something.. something really potentially important enough to warrant a news flash… So I opened the email and it was the news that Britney Spears had filed for divorce.
Fast forward to last Saturday, and I’m driving along on the highway, behind the wheel, and my husband casually mentions something about Susan Butcher having died a few months ago.
I literally felt the blood drain from my face and upper body, then I went cold all over. I seriously considered pulling over because I wasn’t sure I could drive.
I knew Susan Butcher. I went to school with Susan Butcher. I hadn’t heard, and I was stunned.
And then I was outraged. Because I hadn’t heard.
Because here an American woman who had won the Iditarod 4 times – truly an American Icon – got so little press when she passed that I hadn’t even heard about it, but Britney Spears’ filing for divorce deserves a CNN newsflash???
WTF is wrong with this country?
Hey, if people can humiliate their dogs by dressing them up, then I can do it to my car.
Ok, it has to be said, and when something callous about the recently-departed has to be said, you can rely on me to be as tactfully tactless as I can.
This guy and his family get stranded in the snow, in the middle of NOWHERE between Grants Pass and Gold Beach, Oregon, and he leaves the car to go find help. In the middle of nowhere. Surrounded by snow.
Now, what’s the first rule of survival – of keeping safe – when stranded in the middle of nowhere?
STAY WITH THE CAR!
Now his wife and two children are safe, having been rescued from the car, and he’s dead.
Such a shame.
This picture is from my son’s book, “The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Life”, which includes real instructions about how to perform the Heimlick maneuver on your cat.
Either the cat they used for the model just licked lemon juice off a thistle, or cats don’t appreciate being Heimliched:
Yes, it’s true. I confess, we sometimes eat at Marie Callendar’s.
But I’m willing to admit this to you to share with you how cool it is to be able to get online with my laptop from where ever I am!
Because, yeah, as much as my Sidekick rocks, sometimes you really want a full-sized keyboard.
So for those of you who have not already hooked up your laptop to the Internet through your cellphone – bonus points if you are using Bluetooth – well, hey, drop a line here and I’ll tell you how to do it.
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