The Top 10 Reasons to Criminalize Homeschooling

I’m not sure where this originated – it came across our homeschooling list – but it was too good not to share (if anybody knows where it first appeared, please let me know!)

Top 10 Reasons to Criminalize Homeschooling

In an effort to increase the public drumbeat for criminalizing
homeschooling, a memo has been distributed containing the top 10
reasons why public schooling is better than homeschooling. Here is an
excerpt from that memo:

1. Most parents were educated in the under funded-public school system,
and so are not smart enough to homeschool their own children.

2. Children who receive one-on-one homeschooling will learn more than
others, giving them an unfair advantage in the marketplace. This is
undemocratic.

3. How can children learn to defend themselves unless they have to fight
off bullies on a daily basis?

4. Ridicule from other children is important to the socialization process.

5. Children in public schools can get more practice “Just Saying No” to
drugs, cigarettes and alcohol.

6. Fluorescent lighting may have significant health benefits.

7. Publicly asking permission to go to the bathroom teaches young people
their place in society.

8. The fashion industry depends upon the peer pressure that only public
schools can generate.

9. Public schools foster cultural literacy, passing on important
traditions like the singing of “Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin
laid an egg…”

10. Homeschooled children may not learn important office career skills,
like how to sit still for six hours straight.

Man Arrested for Having Sex with Car Wash Vacuum Hose

Jason Savage of Saginaw, Michigan has been arrested for ..er… savaging a car wash vacuum hose.

Yes, really.

Caught red..handed.. in the act by police, Savage complains that he is now unable to get a job, or even leave his house, so scorned is he by his fellow townspeople.

When asked “But why the car wash vacuum?” Savage explained that he’d actually been looking for one of those car washes where they do it by hand, but all he could find was a “touch free” car wash.

(Ok, I made that last part up, but the rest is absolutely true – you can read more about it here.)

New Spork Lets You Really Talk Out Of Both Sides of Your Mouth

This utensil could only have been invented by the Marquis de Spork. The typical spork, perhaps best known as the white plastic utensil that accompanies take out orders from KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken), is a spoon with tines like a fork at the tip.

But this masterpiece also has a serated edge for cutting built in.

As one of the sides of the fork!

WTF?!

Just take a look at this, and imagine actually using it on your next forkful of mashed potatoes.

Once.

Take a look:

By the way, if you want to see an hysterical treatment of sporks, in a great-for-kids movie (although warning, it does have a little bit of religious overtone), check out the Veggie Tales spoof of Lord of the Rings, called Lord of the Beans:

VeggieTales - Lord of the Beans

Google Earth Reveals Huge Alzheimers Medicine – er – Marijuana Farm

Police in Switzerland have made a serendipitous discovery of a marijuana farm, using Google Earth.

According to Norbert Klossner, head of Zurich police’s specialist narcotics unit, Swiss police officers were using Google Earth to locate the address of two suspects when they came across the nearly-two acre marijuana spread hidden within a corn field.

Said Klossner of the find, “It was an interesting chance discovery.”

No doubt it was simply some poor Swiss citizen hoping to keep granny from developing Alzheimers.

Daily Marijuana Use Could Prevent Alzheimers, But How Would You Know?

A new study published by professor Gary Wenk and associate professor Yannic Marchalant of Ohio State says that daily smoking of marijuana (dope, weed, grass, boo, Mary Jane – whatever you want to call it) can ward off Alzheimers.

What I want to know is, how would you know?

If you (or grandma – ewww!) is so doped up from the daily toke, how would you ever know that the cognitive faculties are otherwise not impaired?

“Like, man, the good news is that I remember how to get to the store. The bad news is that I’m too messed up to get up and drive there.

And, I have a wicked case of the munchies.”

A Better Alternative to the Ped Egg

If you’ve been wondering if the at home pedicure foot care product the Ped Egg is worth it, well it’s not. If you have a PedEgg and are disappointed in your PediEgg experience, well, you’re not alone. But most importantly, if you would like a rocking alternative to the Pedi Egg, well, I’ve got it!

First, it’s important to understand what the Ped Egg is – it’s basically a microplane foot file. Now, as foot files (files to remove dead and dry skin from the feet) go, using a microplane foot file is a great idea.

The problem is that the Ped Egg is made of cheap materials, and so the microplane foot file edges aren’t as effective as they could be, and they get dull very quickly. Indeed, that’s where Ped Egg makes their money – selling Ped Egg microplane foot file refills.

One day, as I looked at the real MicroPlane sitting unused in my kitchen utensil drawer, it dawned on me. Why not use it and see if it did a better job then the Ped Egg?

Let me tell you, it did. Not only did it do a far better job, but it was much more convenient. The Ped Egg has no handle – you have to hold it cupped in your hand. And while the Ped Egg does have a “dead skin catcher”, if you don’t hold the Ped Egg at just the right angle, the dead skin still comes sprinkling back out through the microplane holes.

On the other hand, the real MicroPlane has a much longer surface than does the Ped Egg, making it much easier to reach all the areas on your feet, and it has a handle, making it easier still. And it’s not likely to get dull after just a few uses.

So what to do about all the dead skin that comes off when you use it on your feet for your at home pedicure? Do it over a paper towel. Or do it standing next to the toilet with your foot on the rim and let the dead skin get flushed away.

Here is the MicroPlane that I use which, by the way, gets 5 stars from nearly 8,000 customers at Amazon, and costs only $1.00 more than a Ped Egg (and that’s not counting the cost of the Ped Egg refills).

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