The Top 10 Reasons to Criminalize Homeschooling

Share this merde!

I’m not sure where this originated – it came across our homeschooling list – but it was too good not to share (if anybody knows where it first appeared, please let me know!)

Top 10 Reasons to Criminalize Homeschooling

In an effort to increase the public drumbeat for criminalizing
homeschooling, a memo has been distributed containing the top 10
reasons why public schooling is better than homeschooling. Here is an
excerpt from that memo:

1. Most parents were educated in the under funded-public school system,
and so are not smart enough to homeschool their own children.

2. Children who receive one-on-one homeschooling will learn more than
others, giving them an unfair advantage in the marketplace. This is

3. How can children learn to defend themselves unless they have to fight
off bullies on a daily basis?

4. Ridicule from other children is important to the socialization process.

5. Children in public schools can get more practice “Just Saying No” to
drugs, cigarettes and alcohol.

6. Fluorescent lighting may have significant health benefits.

7. Publicly asking permission to go to the bathroom teaches young people
their place in society.

8. The fashion industry depends upon the peer pressure that only public
schools can generate.

9. Public schools foster cultural literacy, passing on important
traditions like the singing of “Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin
laid an egg…”

10. Homeschooled children may not learn important office career skills,
like how to sit still for six hours straight.

4 thoughts on “The Top 10 Reasons to Criminalize Homeschooling

  1. This is so funny! When I saw the link on Twitter I thought it was a homeschool bashing article! LOL Isn’t it sad that all of these things are true. Praise God that we live in a country that allows us the freedom to homeschool. In Texas you can so proudly and openly.

    My children are praised wherever they go for being “outside the box” thinkers. They are experts in the art of intelligent conversation and speak fluently in conversations that contain words over four letters.

    I have loved every moment of homeschooling my children. We graduate our last one this year. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself.

    Great list.


  2. Anne, this is hilarious. I’m sure if we all thought, for perhaps 28 seconds or so, we could come up with another 10 (or 20, or 30. . .) reasons why we should “criminalize” homeschooling. Anyone up for More Homeschoolers Top 10 Reasons? Created by readers of this blog? 🙂 I’ll go first: “Parents can continue their public school education by learning new meanings for old words, such as “ho”.” Oooh, I feel smarter already. . . 😉

  3. Many years ago I saw a similarly sarcastic piece about how people should be assigned grocery stores just as students are assigned to schools. V. Funny.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.