The Clean Escape – The Most Unsanitary Way to Open a Bathroom Door

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In a Whole Foods, of all places, I encountered the most dunder- headed, unsanitary device ever contrived as a way to make opening a bathroom door ‘more sanitary’.

Let me introduce you to the “Clean Escape” foot-operated bathroom door opener.

The idea is to keep you from touching that icky, dirty, germ-infested, disease-bearing door handle when exiting the bathroom.

Instead, as you can see, there is a latch at the bottom of the door – the idea is that you put your foot under it, and press up on the bottom of the device with the top of your foot.

You know, with the part of your foot that, when you’re a man standing and peeing, all the urine droplets land on.

Because walking around with someone else’s urine on the top of your shoe is so sanitary.

Now, if you’re not convinced by that visual – just look at the cleanliness level of the door handle, as compared to the “Clean Escape”.

I think I’ll take my chances on Door Handle #1, Alex.



8 thoughts on “The Clean Escape – The Most Unsanitary Way to Open a Bathroom Door

  1. Alex,

    So what you are saying is that you would rather use the door handle which was touched by the guy who just held his weiner and skipped handwashing. Then you would go back to your seat to eat your sandwich. Enjoy the special sauce!


  2. Charlie is right. Your waaaaaaay better off using your foot. You can’t know that the Clean Escape is dirtier, you can’t see germs. Duh!

  3. Yeah, dude. I agree with Charlie and Katherine. In this world, your hands play an important role and with dirty hands you can get sick. Think of all those germs you would recieve just by touching that handle. Who cares if germs are on your foot.Chh. yeah

  4. “eat shit” in French is not “mange merde”. That would be “mange de la merde” (i.e. eat some shit), if it were used. But it’s not. It’s simply not a phrase which we use. However “mange merde” does exist. It is a noun rather than an injunction. It describes an opportunistic unscrupulous person whom stops at nothing to get what they want. For example “Joe Liebermann is a mange merde”. A bottom feeder, if you will.

  5. i agree with charlie, so i guess you want the speical sauce instead of germs on the top of your shoe. bla :^( are you sick?

  6. If your so careful with your feet maybe you should just walk into the bathroom on your hands…

  7. Eric,

    When was the last time you licked your shoes before eating? I like Charlie’s plan a whole foods better.


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