Soak Until the Size of Border Collie Testicles

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I’ve seen many a strange thing in recipes, particularly with my foray into raw food, but never before have I seen a recipe in which one is instructed to prepare an ingredient to “the size of border collie testicles”.

I couldn’t make this up. The instructions, for a raw peanut dish, call for, and I kid you not, soaking the raw peanuts “until they are the size of border collie testicles.”

Damn, now I’m going to have to get a Border collie.

Or borrow one.

Can you imagine?

“Excuse me, can I borrow your dog for a just a moment? I’d like to measure his testicles. You don’t mind, do you?”

I sure hope that nobody from the SPCA is around when I’m making this recipe.

Don’t believe me? See the recipe calling for something “the size of border collie testicles.”.

2 thoughts on “Soak Until the Size of Border Collie Testicles

  1. But … but … a “well hung” Border Collie, or just average? Or (heavens) the BC with a need to compensate for “something”?

    Yes, there are differences.

    No, don’t ask me how I know.

  2. The folks over at (fake testical implants for neutered animals) ought to know the proper size.

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