Putting the “juice” in Brahmastra juice

We’re all sick here at Chez Devil. That yukky crud kinda sick where your sinuses pound and you cough up a lung an hour. Yuck.

So what to do? Well, I’m going to share a little secret with you.

Back during my ashram days, which were somewhere between my street days and my army days, I learned to make something called “Brahmastra juice”. This is some kicking stuff which will help to clear out your sinuses, and a few others things as well. It’s great when you have a cold. Try it!

Mix the juice of 3 lemons with a thumb of fresh ginger, cut into chunks, 3 cups of water, and a teaspoon (more or less to tolerance) of cayenne pepper. Simmer for about 5 minutes or so, and add a bit of honey to sweeten it just a bit.

Now drink it.

It should make you sweat.

It *will* clear your sinuses.

Make it for your loved ones. They’ll accuse you of trying to poison them, until they realize that it *works*.

The ultimate truth in advertising?

In a new ad campaign which would be worthy of the Onion, if only it weren’t an actual campaign, the fast food chain Wendy’s has a new advertisement out which pictures two sandwiches clearly containing some sort of meat, with a caption which reads, and I kid you not, “Finally understand the phrase “Whoa, Nelly!”

Obviously this is the answer to “Dude, what’s that meat in the sandwich?”

No wonder poor old Clara Peller kept asking “Where’s the beef?”

Christmas in July, Christmas in November, Christmas all year long

I used to laugh at reports of stores pushing Christmas merchandise before Thanksgiving had even rolled around.

Not any more.

This year it hit the Bay area with a vengeance. The day after Halloween many of our local stores seemed to have bypassed turkeys, pumpkin pies, and cranberries, and gone straight to Santa windsocks, illuminated animatronic reindeer, and remote control vehicles the size of a Saint Bernard. And that’s just in the grocery stores!

Remember the days when you went to a grocery store to by your ..um… *groceries*?? And to the sundry store to buy your sundries, and the department store to buy your..well..you get the idea.

“Look Momma”, says our son, “look how early the stores are celebrating Christmas!”

Yes, I suppose, for certain values of “celebrating”.

Certainly not a version which I will support. But that’s ok, I’ve got it all worked out – I’ll just buy my groceries at the drugstore down the street.

Give a little, mean a lot

Will Bontrager (http://www.willmaster.com) is someone whom I respect a great deal, for a number of reasons.

So when Will mentioned to me the plight of the Pine Ridge Reservation Lakota people (for those not familiar with this South Dakota reservation, the reservation boundaries and history include Wounded Knee), and urged me to visit the site which has been put together and is being maintained by volunteers in an effort to lend a hand, I of course did just that.

Now, I’ve been on the streets, been penniless, been a single mom, and had to rely on the kindness of strangers, but I have also been very fortunate, and never have I had to experience such bleak and abject, close-to-the bone poverty. And for that I am eternally grateful.

These are real people, real families, real children, real teenagers, for whom a few dollars can make all the difference in the world. As the website will tell you:

“Families live in overcrowded, substandard conditions–no insulation, no central heat. Some sleep on dirt floors. Fifty-nine percent of the homes are substandard. Many don’t have running water and occupants must carry water from the local rivers daily for their needs. Many don’t have sinks with piped-in water, stoves, refrigerators, or heating and plumbing.”

Where do your gifts go?

Well, that’s once of the nice things – one of the main organizers, Pat Perkins, keeps a running list of urgent needs – so that you can donate (they make it easy – donate through PayPal) directly for, say, the single mom who needs heating propane in this blistering cold region, or to the expectant mom who needs baby clothes, or to the senior meal center which needs a working stove so that the seniors can have a warm meal, for goodness sake. The urgent needs page is here:

http://www.pineridgerez.net/urgent.php

The main site is here:

http://www.pineridgerez.net

Go ahead. Make a difference.

Is it an adhesive? A strap-on?

Just found this lovely spam headline in my inbox this evening:

“The Penis Patch is amazing”

My first thought is “is this to patch a hole, like when you get a hole in an inner-tube?” Maybe it’s to patch a hole in a blow-up doll!

Or, maybe it’s a strap-on, like those eye-patches you get as a child for “lazy eye”. Imagine all those penises with their eye covered by a little black strap-on eye patch.

Or perhaps it’s a patch like a nicotine patch, and you slap that baby on and all of your cravings for penis are satisfied.

No matter which of these is correct, the visual images are pretty amusing!

Thank you!

Thank you for supporting Mange Merde and my caffeine habit!

I, and all of your fellow readers (I hope!), thank you!

Annie