Feds Probe Why Singer Allowed on Jet

From a USA Today headline: Feds Probe Why Singer Allowed on Jet

…because everyone knows that one of the highest security risks in commercial aviation today is that everyone might burst into a round of Kumbaya, rendering the crew somnambulent.

[Ok ok, I realize that with the common knowledge that Yushuf Islam (nee Cat Stevens) was ordered off a U.S. bound plane and returned to Britain takes some of the humour out of this line.]

A Potpourri of Guns

There is just something wrong about the phrase “a potpourri of guns”, don’t you agree?

Actually, more specifically, the phrase was “a potpourri of rifles, handguns and shotguns, including a Rugar Mini-14 assault rifle”. Still just…wrong, yes?

And hey, lest anyone think that I am not an equal opportunity pedant, I find equally wrong the phrase “an arsenal of flowers”.

But the first phrase actually exists, and comes from a news story about someone from San Francisco who was caught with..Jiminy…a pound of methamphetamines with a street value of approximately $30,000, a block of hashish and that potpourri of rifles, handguns and shotguns, including a Rugar Mini-14 assault rifle, and thousands of rounds of ammunition. Twenty-seven firearms in all.

The stash was discovered in the apartment of the suspect, close to a local Catholic high school.

One of our finest, always masters of understatement, opined that “It was far too many guns to have that close to a school.”

Which of course leads one to wonder: what is the cut-off? At what level is it not too many guns to have near a school? Is there a number which is “just the right amount of guns to have near a school”? How about “too few guns for being so close to a school”?

Of course, it is often open season on Catholic school girls.

[You can read more about this here.]

Next Up: Do-It-Yourself Brain Surgery

USA Today is reporting that the FDA has just approved the sale of defibrillators for home use, without a prescription.

According to the story, the FDA “found that the model it approved, Philips HeartStart Home Defibrillator, has been designed and labeled in such a way that anyone can follow the directions.”

It goes on to say that “Mickey Eisenberg, a Seattle researcher who has studied cardiac arrest survival, likens the HeartStart to airbags, carbon monoxide detectors or home security systems. “Widespread dissemination, especially in homes of high-risk patients, offers the means to improve these grim mortality statistics.” ”

And hey, what a neat party trick – way better than that little buzzer you palm before you shake someone’s hand!

You can read more about it here.

The Antidote for Anorexia…. Happy Meals?

In a move which is just so baffling that I can’t even think of anything snide to say about it, the Olsen twins are in France promoting McDonald’s Happy Meals.

The Happy Meals contain tchotchkes which bear either the names or likenesses of the Olsen twins.

Twin Mary-Kate was recently released from a widely-publicized treatment for anorexia.

Somehow the two just don’t go together. Or shouldn’t.

You can read more here.

Recommended Reading for Everyone: “The Art of the Start” by Guy Kawasaki

Ok, I admit it. I am unabashedly, openly, and happily a fan of Guy Kawasaki. He’s a great guy, with a big heart, caring and empathy for his fellow man (and woman), openly family-focused, and hey, he knows a thing or two about business. He should, being the CEO of Garage Technology Ventures.

So I was honoured and pleased when Guy, whom I consider to be a mentor – because, well, he agreed to be my mentor (I begged, pleaded, and generally debased myself…it wasn’t pretty) – when he asked me to read the draft of a new book he was working on, and give him feedback.

Well, that book, The Art Of The Start: The Time-tested, Battle-hardened Guide For Anyone Starting Anything, was released today, and let me tell you, and I’m speaking from inside knowledge here, it’s a great book.
Run out and buy it right now! Go on, I’ll wait for you.

Oh ok, you can wait. In fact you can buy it from the link below.

Here’s the thing: The Art is such an easy book to read! And it makes so much sense! All of the information, thoughts, and advice offered in The Art (and there are plenty of each) is so straight-forward, and presented so well. With his highly readable and casual style, Guy invites you into the pages, sits you down across from him, and tells it like it is – no BS.

I learned so much reading the advance drafts of this book, and having read it now several times, I can honestly say that there is nobody – NOBODY – who shouldn’t read this book. I guarantee you that if you read this book you will learn something – some things – and will be the better for it. I know that I did, and I was. Every chapter contained lightbulbs which went on, or affirmations of my own sense of “the right way to do things”, or both (in fact, most often both). There are things I learned, and things I took away, from every chapter. Things which can be applied if you are just starting or breathing new life into a project or company, and things to help keep it going and on track.

Do you know the ideal length for a business plan? For a VC pitch? Do you know what VCs are thinking while you’re pitching them? (That isn’t pretty, either.) How much do you really know about the art of schmoozing? What does Guy think of HTML email?

Seriously. Get this book. Here’s the link (disclaimer: this link contains my Amazon affiliate i.d.. If you find this objectionable, you can go directly to Amazon and search for “Kawasaki Art Start” and find the book that way):

cover

By the way, and even Guy doesn’t know this – it was his role as an Apple evangelist which I had in mind when I named this blog. When I realized that I had become an ‘evangelist’ of ideas and products in which I really believed, and in my sharing my enthusiasm for them here.

Sick Toy of the Decade Award – Airplane Flying Into the World Trade Center

Nobody yet knows who the sick [ ] is that manufactured and distributed these “toys”, but the Associated Press is reporting that somehow 14,000 toys depicting an airplane flying in to the twin World Trade Towers, and with the product number “9011″, were unknowingly included in bags of candy distributed to small stores throughout the United States.

Unbelieveable, I realize, but you can read the full story here.

Security Threat at Democratic National Convention Uncovered!

You may have heard that security was uber-tight at the recent Democratic National Convention in Boston, particularly given the current and heightened terror alerts indicating that there is going to be an attempt to disrupt the political process (maybe someone should actually float a viable candidate – now that would disrupt the political process!..but I digress…)

What you may not have heard was that the security forces at the DNC had to confiscate razors from several individuals.

And none of the individuals seemed to be acting in concert with any of the other individuals who were found to be carrying the razors.

More insidious, these individuals triggered no profile: they were not swarthy men, spoke perfect English with no hint of a foreign national accent, and, in fact, were dressed as members of the press.

In fact, they were members of the press.

According to the ultrahip Spencer Katt, who slipped it to yours truly, the DNC handed out press bags to members of the press, at their hotel before they wended their way over to the convention. Included in those bags, along with a box of…I kid you not…donkey and star Kraft Mac’n’Cheese, some beverages and some craisins, was…a Gillette Mach 3 razor. Perhaps they thought the Katt-man was just too furry, or perhaps they figured the press for a bunch of longhairs. Or, perhaps they just weren’t thinking at all, as they sent a flotilla of press armed with razors straight to the security checkpoints at the convention.

On the other hand…it is a novel approach to protecting the homeland – “Vote the Democratic Ticket: We’ll Give You a Well-Armed Press Corps”

Hey, they are everywhere, after all.

The California Tea Party

No, it’s not a new political party, although maybe it should be.

I have just discovered Harney teas, and am blown away.

Harney teas are to teas as Penzey herbs are to herbs.

The aroma and bouquet of the *dried* teas, even before steeping, are just incredible. It’s like smelling the finest potpourri; open a tin of Harney’s tea and it’s like walking through a garden after a fresh morning rain. Absolutely incredible.

Incredible enough that I willingly shelled out $7.00 for a tin of 20 bags at the Starbucks concession in a local Barnes and Noble (in my defense, each bag makes two cups). You can get 50-bag tins for $19.00, and also loose leaf for less, at http://www.harney.com

Do it.

Your tea-loving self will be glad that you did.

If You Want to Work in Canada as a Nude Dancer…

For those of you who don’t have nubile teenagers going to teen nudist camp (if you don’t know to what I’m referring, see http://www.mangemerde.com/but-honey-the-law-says-that-i-have-to-go-watch-all-those-nubile-naked-teenagers/), you can always get a job as a Canadian visa official.

Yes, it’s true – the Toronto Sun has reported that non-Canadian women wishing to enter Canada to work as nude dancers must submit nude photos of themselves to qualify for a visa. A report in the Toronto Sun explains that the poor visa officials are having to pore over hundreds of pictures of nude exotic dancers. Such a tragedy.

As one Canadian official put it: If they don’t have pictures in the nude, they are not going to wiggle their bottoms in Canada.

A Nation of Intellectual Pygmies

Listening today to the candidates for the upcoming presidential election, George W. Bush and John Kerry, each driveling their lackluster verbal pablum, it suddenly hit me as to just why our choices for President have been increasingly disheartening, disillusioning, and demoralizing.

We are raising a nation of intellectual pygmies.

People no longer choose the best candidate – they choose the least bad candidate. It’s like the junkie channel surfer, clicking desperately from channel to channel, hoping to find that one show which doesn’t suck too badly until they can repeat the process at the top of the hour.

So too our choices for president – we as a nation are now being forced to vote not for the best candidate, but for the candidate who will suck the least. Because these are men who offer sound bytes, not wisdom, and whose trade is in insults not intellectual discourse.

Blather, rinse, repeat.

And do you know why? It’s because you simply can’t get a good, classical education in America any more. Our candidates are but a product of the educational environment we have created, and what we have created doesn’t even begin to teach true critical thinking, philosophy, reflection, values and ethics.

We no longer value real scholarship.

We no longer train intellectuals.

Presidents past, and I mean way past, were men of deep thought as well as action. They were well-educated, well-versed, and well-rounded. They were deep thinkers.

The candidates of today have no idea how to be deep, critical thinkers. That is what made Clinton such an attractive candidate to so many – he was, in fact, one of the few intellectuals to run in modern day (and I say that as someone who did not vote for him).

We have created a nation of intellectual pygmies.

We deserve the president we get.