Author: Annie

Yes. I am THAT She Devil. The original, shedevil at vix.com. You know: I am: mom, attorney, fathers' rights advocate Actually, I'm a lawyer -and- I play one on tv. Yep..that's me.

How to Perform Maintenance On and Lubricate a Vibration Plate or Platform

Welcome! If you’ve ended up here it’s almost certainly because you’ve been going crazy trying to find lubrication instructions and to figure out how to lubricate your vibration platform or vibration plate (or whatever you choose to call your vibration machine). You are probably mystified as to why how to oil or lube your vibration platform wasn’t covered in the user manual that came with your vibration plate or platform. (Please note that we are using the terms “vibration platform” and “vibration plate” interchangeably, even though there may be minor differences between the two and from manufacturer to manufacturer.) You may even have already tried to figure it out for yourself, turning your vibration plate over and over looking for where to oil it.

But just in case you aren’t familiar with these machines, which can be found both in gyms and homes, vibration platforms perform whole body vibration. According to Healthline, “Vibration machines, also called shaking machines or shaking platforms, use whole-body vibrations to force your muscles to contract reflexively. They’re available in some gyms and are sold for home use. Generally, people perform exercises like squats, pushups, or crunches on these machines while they’re vibrating. Supporters of vibration machines say these vibrations make your muscles work harder and can help you lose fat, build muscle, and get stronger.” And the Mayo Clinic, always a respected resource, says that research shows that whole-body vibration, when performed correctly and under medical supervision when needed, can reduce back pain, improve strength and balance in older adults, and even reduce bone loss.

In terms of fitness and exercise benefits, online fitness site FitDay has a great, in-depth article on The Benefits of a Vibration Plate.

Vibration plates are sold in many places, and at many price points, all the way from vibration plates for home use, such as this highly rated one on Amazon and this other highly rated one on Amazon, both of which are under $200, all the way up to commercial vibration platforms for gym use that sell for $10,000 (such as this one) up to $15,000 or more!

However they all do essentially the same thing: they vibrate the bejeezus out of you. And the actual platform (plate) part does pretty much the same thing on all of them (that’d be the “vibrating the bejeezus out of you” thing). Obviously the higher-end ones, made for use in a commercial gym, are more solidly and sturdily built, but they still do roughly the same thing.

And they all, every single last one of them, have the same lubricating instructions.

How to Lubricate Your Vibration Plate or Platform

You don’t.

That’s right, that’s what we said. The reason that you can’t find instructions anywhere for lubricating your vibration plate is because they are not made to be lubricated. They are a closed system, with no access for lubrication.

But don’t take our word for it, take the words of all of the experts that we ourselves contacted because, well, our home vibration platform developed a squeak, so we were trying to figure out how to lubricate the damned thing to shut it up! First we contacted the manufacturer of our model, who said “you don’t lubricate it, you can’t.”

That made us think that we had gotten a bum deal, and maybe should have gone with a different model which would allow us lubrication access.

Then we discovered that there are no such models.

So then we called our trusty home and commercial gym equipment repair company (don’t ask) and they, having never heard of lubricating a vibration plate, called their suppliers, and all the way up that supply chain the word came back down: you don’t lubricate a vibration platform.

Finally, we called a gym that has vibration platforms for their members’ use. Surely they would either say “that’s crazy, of course you have to lubricate them” or they would confirm that, even in the high-use environment of a commercial gym, vibration platforms don’t get lubricated.

Guess what. The nice people at this large commercial gym, that has been around for 40 years, said that yes, it’s true, you don’t lubricate vibration plates (vibration platforms, vibration machines, etc.). You don’t, and you can’t.

And what this means for you if you have a home vibration platform and it develops a squeak, is, well a) don’t worry about it, and b) you have to live with it.

Our home vibration platform
How to Perform Maintenance On and Lubricate Your Vibration Platform or Plate

Searches that led to this article: https://www mangemerde com/how-to-perform-maintenance-on-and-lubricate-a-vibration-plate-or-platform/,  

About those Weird Plastic Pieces from Inside the Front Door Panel of a Bosch Dishwasher

Earlier this year we had occasion to remove the front panel from the door of our Bosch dishwasher. The occasion was that it had developed a leak. Now fortunately, one of the most common reasons that a Bosch dishwasher will develop a leak – especially if it seems to be coming from under the door – is that the inlet water valve needs to be replaced. And also fortunately, it turns out that the water inlet valve is relatively easy to replace, once you take the door panel off. (In case you’re interested, this is the inlet water valve that we used to replace the leaking one – ain’t Amazon amazing?)

Well, as soon as that door panel came off of the front of that Bosch dishwasher, two weirdly-shaped plastic pieces literally fell out of the dishwasher, onto the floor (the floor of the kitchen, not the floor of the dishwasher). “Weird,” we thought, and set them aside, sure that it would be obvious where they went once we started putting the dishwasher back together.

Boy were we wrong.

What the hell was this thing?
About those Weird Plastic Pieces from Inside the Front Panel of a Bosch Dishwasher

At first we were misled by the apparent channels in the thing, which led us to think that it was some sort of harness for wiring. But, nope.

In fact, it took us quite a while to figure out what this thing was, but once we did, and once we actually figured out where it went, it was obvious. Dumb, but obvious. Of course it’s obvious once you know, so that is why I wrote this up for you, so you will know, without going through the frustration that we did.

It’s a door spacer for your Bosch dishwasher!

Well, actually, it was obvious where they went – whether they are a door spacer, or something to protect the inside of the door from damage, or both, still wasn’t 100% clear. We are choosing to call it a door spacer.

But once you know what they are, where they go, and how they go, is obvious. So if you have found pieces that look like the above, here is how they go back in.

Inserting the door spacer protector back into your dishwasher
putting plastic door spacer back bosch dishwasher inserting

Notice the single prong on the plastic door spacer; once you insert the plastic piece as in the above picture, it will seat into place with a satisfying click.

putting plastic door spacer back bosch dishwasher seated click

This is what it will look like from above, once it is clicked in and fully seated.

View from above
putting plastic door spacer back bosch dishwasher view from above

And that’s all there is to it. It probably took you way more time to discover what those silly plastic pieces are than it will to shove them back in!

By the way, in case you’re wondering, this is what the inlet water valve looks like:

Bosch Dishwasher Inlet Water Valve
bosch dishwasher inlet water inlet valve

And, again, you can find them on Amazon here (although be sure to check that it’s compatible with your model, this is the one that worked for our model). It costs all of $12.50.

Searches that led to this article: https://www mangemerde com/about-those-weird-plastic-pieces-from-inside-the-front-door-panel-of-a-bosch-dishwasher/,  

“I Swear I Heard a Strange Popping Noise as Her Brain Misfired”

The below, recounting 4th year medical student _Haliax_ witnessing his attending physician’s interaction with a mother who did not want to vaccinate her children because, you know, 9/11, chemtrails, and other conspiracy theories including vaccine conspiracies, has been making the rounds of the Internet (Facebook, etc.) as a screenshot. So of course, before posting it, I wanted to verify the authenticity of that screenshot, and of the source. I have now done so.

The below was originally posted on Reddit, in the AskReddit subReddit (known to the Reddit crowd as simply a “sub”, as in “in the AskReddit sub”), in response to a post titled “Doctors of Reddit, what are some of your anti-vax parent stories?” It was posted by the user who goes by the username of _Haliax_. It was originally posted in May of 2019, however this particular response seems as apt today as then. Here’s the post:

“4th year med student reporting in.

Had a rotation with a pediatrician where we ended up in the classic encounter with an anti-vaccination parent.

This lady was a conspiracy theory magnet. She casually mentioned everything from 9/11 to chemtrails. Of course she loved the idea of the vaccine conspiracy as well, opting to not protect her one year old to stick it to big pharma.

I relayed all of this to my attending after my exam (I would see the patient first, gather history and do my exam to present to my attending physician). He got this sort of lazy smirk on his face that screamed “watch this”.

We go back into the exam room and we cover all of the important bits of a well-child encounter. Growth charts, behavioral milestones, nutrition, sleep…

And then we get to vaccines. She lists approximately 15 reasons why vaccines are more dangerous than the disease they protect against (lol) in addition to the various evils of the pharmaceutical industry.

My attending listens quietly until she’s done with her soapbox (about one eternity later), and then interjects with:

“Have you considered the possibility that anti-vaccine propaganda could be an attempt by the Russians or the Chinese to weaken the health of the United States population?”

In a moment of catastrophic cognitive dissonance, I swear I heard a strange popping noise as her brain misfired. It actually broke her. The allure of the increasingly ridiculous conspiracy theory was just too strong.

She ended up agreeing to a modified vaccine schedule. I was flabbergasted. My attending just grinned at me in response. To this day I’m not sure the medical ethics of the situation are totally palatable, but goddamn the result was amazing.“

How to Clean and Fix Your Le Creuset Black Enamel Interior

If you have a Le Creuset griddle or skillet that has the black enamel interior, and which now has a glaze of sticky, shiny, or sticking spots that you can’t get off no matter how much you scrub it, I’m going to tell you how to fix it, and about the “patina”.

Now, I’m sure that you, like me, bought this pricey piece because, hey, it’s cast iron that you can abuse in the washing process. Pile on the soap. Leave it to drip dry. Heck, you can even put it in the dishwasher!

Plus, it doesn’t need to be seasoned.

Or so they say.

But then in your searches you may have come across some articles that talk about the “patina” that lays down on the black enamel cooking surface. Specifically certain Le Creuset sites say, of the black interior enamel cooking surfaces, that it “has excellent, easy food release properties, which are enhanced once a natural surface patina develops.” These sites go on to explain that the “patina is produced from oils and fats used for greasing and those released from the food. After a few uses, a brownish film will appear. This patina should not be scrubbed off, as it greatly enhances the cooking and release performance of foods from the surface.”

So in essence, your black enameled interior cooking surface on your Le Creuset skillet, griddle, or grill (or other item), does need to be seasoned, but it’s expected to develop the seasoning as it’s used, rather than your having to season it initially.

What this means is that your black enamel cooking surface isn’t supposed to get spotlessly clean, it is supposed to grab the grease and oil that you put on it, or that leeches out from the foods you cook, leading to those spots that you have probably been diligently trying to scrub off (you can’t), lamenting that you have probably ruined your beautiful cookware the first time that you used it (you didn’t), or, at least, making you sad because it doesn’t look like it did when you first unboxed it (it’s not supposed to).

Which leads us to this:

How to Clean and Fix Your Le Creuset Black Enamel Interior

You are actually going to season patina that sucker. That’s right, even though you aren’t supposed to have to season patina it.

First, if you have sticky spots on your cookware, try to get them off as best as you can. What I did was I put a splash of dish soap, and a healthy sprinkle of baking soda, into the griddle, and then filled it with boiling water. Then I let the water cool until I could put my hands in it, and I scraped away at the sticky spots with my thumbnail. I should add that this was the only thing that worked – not scrubbing it with a nylon scrubber, not Bar Keeper’s friend – nothing else. Only the dish soap, baking soda, and thumbnail. Do the best you can, and don’t sweat it if there are glazed patches that remain behind (that’s baby patina), you just want to remove as much of the sticky patches as you can.

Now, preheat your oven to 400°, and while the oven is heating brush a neutral oil such as safflower or sunflower oil all over the interior of your pan. Make it a very thin layer. Any areas where the oil layer isn’t paper thin can end up sticky, instead of seasoned.

Now, put your pan in your oven for 30 minutes. Remove it, and let it cool completely.

Run your fingers along the inside of your pan to make sure that there are no sticky spots (if there are, put it back in the oven for another 15 minutes or so).

Assuming that the interior of your pan passes the “no sticky spots” test, repeat the oil-and-bake process two more times.

At this point, after the third coating and cooling, your black enamel cooking surface should be slick, and relatively smooth (not completely smooth, but relatively). Now when you cook on it, if things stick to it at all, they will come off fairly easily. You can still put it in the dishwasher, although expect to have to re-season it at some point if you do.

I call this “Still Life with Patina”
How to Use, Care for, and Fix Your Le Creuset Black Enamel Interior

Searches that led to this article: https://www mangemerde com/how-to-clean-and-fix-your-le-creuset-black-enamel-interior/,  

The Best Way to Make Cold Brew Coffee Plus No-Mess Coffee Grounds! Also: the Best Ratio for that Cold Brewed Coffee!

Yeah, “The Best Way to Make Cold Brew Coffee is Also the Easiest Way to Deal with the Grounds – Also: the Best Ratio for that Cold Brewed Coffee!” is a long title, but I needed to let you know what you’re in for. So hang on, because I’m going to rock your cold brew world! (Update: Ok, I just changed it to “The Best Way to Make Cold Brew Coffee Plus No-Mess Coffee Grounds! Also: the Best Ratio for that Cold Brewed Coffee!”..slightly better.)

Before we go any further, let’s clear up something at the outset: when you brew cold brew coffee you are making a coffee concentrate, which, in order to drink, you will first dilute with water (unless you’re looking for a crazed-weasel level of caffeine). That is one of the two perfect ratios people want to know – how much coffee concentrate to how much water. More on that below.

We got on the cold brew kick because – let’s face it – we’re lazy (which made dealing with cold brew grounds..heck, any grounds, a hassle, which makes our discovery even all the more exciting, but more on that in a moment).

The fact that it makes a cup of coffee so smooth that even if you slathered a baby’s bottom with the smoothest of mashed avocado, and topped it off with whipped cream, it couldn’t compete, is just an added benefit.

And the fact that cold brew allows you to tweak the strength of your coffee to just how you like it – from ‘delicate with a hint of coffee aroma’ to ‘motherfather can we dial it down to just high octane’? Another added benefit.

Have I mentioned that we’re lazy? And that we don’t like to deal with the grounds?

This is the lazyperson’s cold brew method, and the fact that it just happens to make amazing, smooth coffee is a bonus. Or, if you aren’t so lazy, then the fact that this cold brew method, that makes amazingly smooth coffee, is also super easy to make and super easy when it comes to dealing with the grounds is the bonus.

Either way, I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s PDA (that’s Pretty Damn Awesome, not public display of affection, although those are PDA too (see what I did there?)).

First we tried making it with our French press. It worked ok, but part of the whole laziness thing is that dealing with those grounds is a hassle.

So then, thinking it would be less hassle (and hey, more coffee!) we got one of these:

cold brew coffee maker

(That’s the “Takeya Deluxe Cold Brew Iced Coffee Maker with Airtight Lid”, which not only was even more of a hassle, but apparently that “airtight lid” isn’t water-tight – it leaked (only slightly, but still).

One day I was cleaning out the cupboard, and came across something that we had used months before in our futile efforts to make dealing with spent coffee grounds easier. They were filters for our French press (yes, we’re that lazy). My other half didn’t love them (hot coffee grounds and all that), so we used one, and then put the other 99 in the cupboard and promptly forgot about them.

Until I was cleaning out the cupboard and saw them, and pulled them out, and was just about to post them on Nextdoor in case someone else with a French press wanted to try them – seriously, I had already written the post and was proofreading it before pressing ‘send’ when…

LIGHTBULB!!

“Hey, these look like they would just fit in a Mason canning jar!”

(Yeah, we have talking light bulbs at our house.)

And thus the Best Way to Make Cold Brew Coffee Plus No-Mess Grounds (BWMCBCPNMG) was born! And here it is.

The Best Way to Make Cold Brew Coffee Plus No-Mess Coffee Grounds! Also: the Best Ratio for that Cold Brewed Coffee!

For this method you will need:

  • Mason (or other) 1 quart canning jars – as many as you want to store in your fridge at once
  • French press coffee filters (see link below)
  • Coffee (obviously) – course ground, as for a French press, is best

Instructions

Open and insert one French press coffee filter into each empty Mason jar, folding the top down over the outside of the jar.

best way to make cold brew coffee empty jars with filters

Measure 2/3 cup coffee grounds (there’s that magic ratio) into each filter. So that ratio is 2/3 cup grounds to nearly 1 quart of water (nearly because even though you will fill the jars with water, some of the volume is taken up by the coffee).

Note that we use a canning funnel to do this, which makes it so much easier. You can get a canning funnel at most hardware stores, or on Amazon here.

measuring the coffee grounds for cold brew coffee

coffee in filter cold brew mason jars

Now, slowly add water to each jar, using a spoon to make sure that all of the grounds are moistened as you add the water. You do not want any of the grounds at the top to be dry!

adding water to cold brew coffee

 

Side view
water in cold brew mason jar

 

Top view
top view cold brew coffee

 

Be sure to fill the jar so that the water comes to nearly the top of the jar!

Now, keeping the top of the filter folded down over the outside of the jar, screw the lid on.

make cold brew coffee in mason jars

three jars of cold brew coffee in mason jars

Leave the filled jars on your counter for 12 to 24 hours, depending in part on how strong you like to make your cold brew, and in part on how lazy you are. We make ours in the evening, and leave it on the counter overnight for at least 12 hours. We also make enough for a week at a time.

When they are done (or, if you are like us, when you come out in the morning) they will look like this:

cold brew coffee in canning jars done

Note that while the filters will be discolored at the top on the outside, they will not leak or drip onto your counter.

Now take the cap off…

cold brew coffee done with cap off

fold up the sides…

cold brew coffee in canning jar with filter folded up

and holding the filter closed, gently start pulling the filter up so that it can drain down into the jar.

removing filter cold brew coffee

You will probably want to remove the filters over your sink or some other receptacle. Once they are completely drained, you can compost them (yes, the filters (link below) are compostable), or empty them out into your garden, or otherwise dispose of them.

removing cold brew coffee filters

You now have jars full of amazing cold brew coffee concentrate, to which you can add cold water, cold water and ice, or hot water!

Wonderful, smooth dark brew coffee, the lazy person’s way!
yummy cold brew coffee

By the way, there are really two perfect ratios for making cold brew coffee. The first is the grounds:water ratio (which will differ depending on method, taste, and grind – for this method we have found the perfect ratio to be 2/3 cup grounds per full jar). Of course the ‘taste’ part means that there really can be no “perfect” ratio, but for this method the 2/3 cup grounds per jar is a darned good start.

The second “perfect ratio” is the cold brew concentrate to water ratio for when you are making your coffee to drink. And if there can really be no perfect ratio for making the cold brew concentrate, there can really be no perfect ratio for how you use it! It’s entirely to taste, depending in large part on how strong you like your coffee. Some people even drink this stuff straight! Most, though, will do either a 1:2 ratio (coffee concentrate to water) or a 1:1 ratio. So start there and adjust to..you got it..taste.

Ok, the filters that we use are the Caffi brand French press coffee filters, and you can get them on Amazon here. You may be able to get them elsewhere, but I’ve only been able to find them on Amazon. Fortunately they are only .21 each, at $21 per 100 pack.

cold brew coffee filters

Enjoy!

What is the Lighted Padlock Icon on My Dashboard and Why Won’t My Car Start?

A couple of days ago my 2017 Subaru Forester wouldn’t start. What’s more, every time I tried to start it, it flashed a dashboard light that looked just like a little padlock. That darned padlock dashboard icon flashed so fast that at first I could barely tell what it was, but it had to be something to do with why my Subaru wouldn’t start, right? Here’s a video of that flashing padlock symbol, which turns out to mean “anti-theft security system is in force” (how Robocop).

Here’s a still photo of the padlock security light – turns out it’s a padlock through..a windshield? A rear window? Somehow having a hole through which a padlock can fit in your glass doesn’t seem all that secure to me, but what do I know?

Flashing Padlock Icon on Dashboard
flashing padlock light subaru forester wont start

Anyways, here’s the thing: If your car has an anti-theft system, that little light always comes on when you start the car, and then turns right off again when the car starts. In fact, it always comes on with all the other dashboard lights that come on at the same time which is why nobody ever notices it.

Until the car doesn’t start and the dash lights are on and you are looking at them wondering why your car won’t start. THEN you notice it.

So, it turns out that flashing padlock icon has nothing to do with why your car won’t start.

Here’s what else I learned. First, my Subaru Forester (turbo, thank you very much) is barely two years old, so the fact that it wouldn’t start (wouldn’t even try to turn over – it’s dead, Jim) – was concerning, to say the least. And, oh yeah, the battery of course was relatively new as well. And the odds of the battery being the issue and it not even trying to turn over, not once, seemed unlikely.

After much searching online (probably not unlike the searching that you did that landed you here) we discovered that, of all things, it was a blown starter fuse!

In case you are here because your car won’t start and you just happen to have a Subaru, we found this page here on how to change a Subaru fuse and where they are incredibly helpful. In fact, it was all that we needed to check all of the fuses, determine which one was blown, and change it (and Subaru happily includes replacement fuses and a fuse puller in the fuse box under the hood – although the starter fuse that needed changing was in the interior fuse panel by the steering wheel).

If the search that led you here isn’t an issue with a Subaru, you can find all you need by searching on the Internet for “how to change fuse {make and model of your car}”.

Searches that led to this article: https://www mangemerde com/what-is-the-lighted-padlock-icon-on-my-dashboard-and-why-wont-my-car-start/,  2017 subaru wont start dash lock light,  2019 subaru dashboard icon lock,  subaru what does the lock symbol mean?,  

What I Learned about How to Buy Windows for Your House

If you haven’t had to buy replacement windows for your house recently (or at all) be prepared for sticker shock. Here’s what I’ve learned, and here’s what we did. Note that we first spoke with several different window companies, including Clearwater and Home Depot (I’m including an explanation of Home Depot windows versus having Home Depot install the windows – think that $149 per window is a deal? It’s not – it doesn’t even apply to windows you order through Home Depot – but more on that shortly).

how to buy new windows

We recently needed to replace the windows on our house – nearly all of the windows (12), because they are very old, drafty, don’t slide well, and in some cases are cracked. In fact, they were the original windows with which this house was built, back in the 70s. Aluminum frames, many dented or even bent… you get the idea. We were also going to replace a sliding patio door.

Because we have a friend who works at Clearwater, we wanted to go with them if possible – we really did. So we arranged for a Clearwater Exteriors sales person to come to our house, along with our friend (who is not a sales person).

This is when we got the sticker shock of our lives. Even with the ‘friends and family’ discount (which to be fair they were going to give us), if we wanted top quality windows it was going to be over $18000 dollars. If you’re playing along at home, that works out to well over $1000 per window.

Then we started checking around, asking neighbors, reading online reviews, etc., and quickly realized that every window company is going to send over a sales person (“for a free estimate”). And we discovered that they all use the same high pressure sales tactic (think ‘car salesman’), and that no matter what window company we used it was going to cost us well over $17000.

This is when we started thinking creatively and looking for other options.

Several neighbors had recommended going through Home Depot, based on their own experiences with Home Depot, and, as it happened, Home Depot was having a 15% off everything sale, and they were advertising installation for only $149 per window!

So we grabbed our window measurements, and went to Home Depot to order windows.

The first thing that I need to tell you at this juncture is that if you are going to call or go into Home Depot, the department you want is called “millwork” (which is basically jargon for ‘building material’).

But the second thing that I need to share with you is the big thing.

We got to Home Depot, measurements in hand, and sat down with one of their window people. We gave them the measurements, picked out the brand, style and quality of window that we wanted, and put together an order. It came to about $6000. We hadn’t actually ordered it yet, when we had this conversation with the Home Depot person (“HDP”):

Us: Ok (pointing to big sign that says “Window installation only $149 per window”) now we’re going to get this $149 installation price, right?”

HDP: Oh, no, that only applies if you order your windows through our Home Depot Exteriors company. We don’t have an installation service for windows that you order directly through Home Depot.

Let me repeat what the Home Depot person said again, just so you really catch it:

“that only applies if you order your windows through our Home Depot Exteriors company.”

and

“We don’t have an installation service for windows that you order directly through Home Depot.”

Home Depot Exteriors is a completely different organization that is in direct competition with, you guessed it, Clearwater Exterior, Anderson Windows, and other window companies that are going to try to pressure you into buying a big dollar window package.

And, in fact, just to be sure, we scheduled a ‘free estimate’ with Home Depot Exteriors, and their estimate came in at around $17000, including that $149 per window installation (in other words, they make it up on the windows – the exact same windows you can go into your friendly neighborhood Home Depot and order directly. But then of course you have to somehow get the windows installed, and you are on your own there.)

Fortunately for us, we have a neighbor who is in the window and door business. He came highly recommended by several neighbors, and so we contacted him and asked him whether he would be willing to install windows for us that we had purchased ourselves. And because he is wonderful, he said yes, and we agreed on a price that was fair to him, and also to us. While he of course couldn’t give us a warranty on the windows themselves, he still gave us a warranty on the installation. And the window brand that we chose at Home Depot – Milgard – comes with a lifetime warranty on the product.

By ordering the windows directly through Home Depot (not Home Depot Exteriors) and having a professional window installer install them for us, we saved at least $5000 off even the most ‘conservative’ estimate, and we got a top-of-the-line window product to boot.

If you happen to be in Colorado, let me tell you one more thing. We first went to the Longmont Home Depot, where the person who took our original window order (where we learned that the $149 installation didn’t apply) was very nice, but knew very little. In fact, he originally told us that we would get the $149 installation price with our order, but that we would have to contact “this person for the installation” (handing us a card). Turns out that “this person” was the Home Depot Exteriors guy, who of course informed us that we would have to go through them to get the windows, and turned on the high pressure sales charm.

Then we went to the store in Superior, after calling them and being assured that someone in millwork would be there all day. We arrived a bit after 2:00pm, couldn’t find anyone, had them paged, waited some more, and finally found someone who knew where everyone in millwork was: gone. They had all left early for the day.

We finally went to the Boulder store, where the awesome Miriam helped us place our order. She was very knowledgeable, and assured us that she was there 6 days as week, from 9 to 5 at least.

So, the morals of this story are two-fold:

1. If you can find someone to install them, order your windows through Home Depot, but stay away from Home Depot Exterors, and

2. If you are in Colorado and it’s local enough for you, go to the Boulder Home Depot and ask for Miriam.

Audio of Crazy Lunch Menu Man David Price Reading School Lunch Menu

crazy lunch menu man audio

The other day I was talking with Mah Mayun about David Price, a/k/a the Crazy Lunch Menu Man, or just the Crazy Lunch Guy. He is the man who used to read off the school lunch menu, in an over-the-top fashion, for certain schools. For example, you could call the Charlotte Observer’s information line, punch in a code, and get the school lunch menu information for the City of Charlotte public schools.

Anyways, I was talking with MM about the crazy lunch guy, and as it happens he had never heard of David Price, or the phenomenon that was the Crazy Lunch guy.

So I started searching for a recording or three of the crazy lunch guy reading some of his menus, and I could only find one. One, on the entire Internet! And that one, posted many years ago, was on Soundcloud. It was posted to Soundcloud 5 years ago, to be exact, by the creatively handled “user227375821”.

Knowing as I do that anything posted to the cloud is really just posted to someone else’s computer, and therefore the one extant recording of Dave the Crazy Lunch Menu Man reading a lunch menu could disappear without a trace 💣 just like that, I grabbed the sound file (I’m fairly sure that user227375821 won’t mind), so that it could be preserved here for posterity, and I am posting it at the end of this post.

Not only that, but through the magic of Archive.org I found an old Salon article about the Lunch Menu Man, and through that I found another recording of Price, introducing himself, as, yes, The Lunch Menu Man! I’ve included that as well.

The Salon article, which was published in the summer of 2000, and written by author and McSweeney’s founder Dave Eggers, explains that, among other things, Price was then “a 34-year-old former car salesman who for the past year has been reading the Charlotte, North Carolina school lunch menus for a local voice mail system.”

Eggers then pursued an interview with Price and seemed surprised when “he sounds like a normal person,” explaining that “In fact, he seems downright nice — kind and polite and seemingly concerned with keeping kids in school and well-fed. He says he is married and has three young children. But just when I am ready to believe in his normalcy, when I start feeling like the existence of the Lunch Menu Man is a perfectly regular thing, I come to my senses. I was talking to a grown man who reads, like a raving madman, children’s lunch menus — and makes a living doing it. How? Why?”

The article then goes into Price’s background, and how he came to end up as the crazy lunch guy. Eggers explains that, once getting the lunch menu job, “With no prior experience as a professional lunatic, he simply began reading the standard menu as if he were in the deepest depths of delusional DT’s.”

You can read Eggers’ original Salon article here at Archive.org.

By the way, David Price wrote a book called Out to Lunch: The Lunch Menu Man’s Guide to School Lunch, which Amazon says is a “collection of wacky jokes, song parodies, and short stories about lunch includes tidbits on such celebrity foods as “Okra” Winfrey and “Johnny-Cake” Depp, as well as the scoop on the First Annual Grammy-cracker Awards.” You can still get copies of the Lunch Menu Man’s book on Amazon here.

Here’s the audio.

David Price introducing himself as the Lunch Menu Man

Audio of the Crazy Lunch Menu Man reading 3 different lunch menus

Searches that led to this article: https://www mangemerde com/audio-of-crazy-lunch-menu-man-david-price-reading-school-lunch-menu/,  

Are Immaculate Baking Company Biscuits Vegan or Vegetarian? We Get the Answer Plus Info on KFC Biscuits and Pillsbury Biscuits

immaculate baking company kfc pillsbury biscuits vegetarian vegan

[Updated 1/17/18! Keep reading for the definitive answer!]
If you are vegetarian, as am I, or vegan, you may have found yourself wondering whether Immaculate Baking Company’s biscuits are vegetarian, owing to the listing of “natural flavor” in the ingredients. Same for KFC biscuits (Kentucky Fried Chicken). The thing is, “natural flavor” or “natural flavoring” (or “flavour” or “flavouring”) in a list of ingredients is often code for “animal derived product”. And not just animal derived, like milk, but dead animal derived, like chicken fat or bacon grease.

Having looked all up and down the can (canister? container? just what do you call that pop’n’fresh whack-on-the-counter packaging?) and finding no indication whatsoever as to whether the Immaculate Baking Company biscuits are vegetarian, let alone vegan, and finding that vague and ambiguous (if not downright troubling) ingredient, ‘Natural Flavor’, I of course took to the Internet, sure that the answer as to whether Immaculate’s natural flavor was animal derived and whether the biscuits were vegetarian or vegan would be easy to find.

Not so much.

In fact, in over 1,000,000 search results the answer was not to be found; at least not to be found in the first several pages.

So I decided to write to Immaculate Baking Company directly, asking them point blank about the matter.

Here’s what I wrote:

Hello,

Can you please let me know whether your biscuits are vegetarian or vegan, or if the natural flavor listed as an ingredient comes from animals?

Thank you!

Anne

And here is the reply that I received:

From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Response From Immaculate Baking – 2018/01/10-1452US

Dear Anne,

Thank you for contacting Immaculate Baking.

Per Labeling: Flaky Biscuits do not contain animal ingredients.
Thank you for your interest in Immaculate Baking. We hope this information is helpful to you.

Sincerely,
Rosemary Walters
Consumer Relations Representative

At first I was pleased by this response. Then I realized that the representative had included “Per Labeling”. Had she simply looked at the label and assumed (as many would) that there were no animal products listed in the ingredients (overlooking my specific question about the source of the ‘natural flavor’)?

I wrote back, but I also knew it would take one to two days to hear back from them. So I called their 800 number to see if I could get confirmation any more quickly that way.

Guess what, I couldn’t. The very pleasant person who answered the phone said that she was not authorized to tell me what the ‘natural flavor’ was, because “if they listed all of their ingredients, then people could copy their product.” So, she told me, she was going to have to send my query to a ‘product specialist’, and they would get back to me in…wait for it, one to two days.

This is actually at least better than my quest to determine whether the ‘natural flavor’ in KFC (Kentucy Fried Chicken) biscuits was vegetarian or not. In that case the very nice representative basically did the same search on their website that I did, and then apologized that she couldn’t help me more.

Me: “You mean that you have no access to resources other than performing the very same search on the very same site that I just searched myself??”

Her: “I’m afraid so.”

Me: (Thinking to self) At least Immaculate Baking was able to boot it up to a product specialist..of course I may never actually hear back from them.

So, that’s where this stands. Hopefully they will actually get back to me, and even more hopefully that natural flavor in their biscuits will actually be vegetarian, if not vegan.

Another note, which the astute of you will have already noticed from the email address: Immaculate Baking company is now a division of giant food conglomerate General Mills. So, as with everything, let your conscience be your guide.

UPDATE! On 1/17/18 (so indeed two days later) I heard back from Immaculate (a/k/a subsidiary of General Mills). Here is what they said:

Dear Ms. Mitchell,

Thank you for contacting Immaculate Baking.

Organic Natural Biscuits IBC Flaky 16 oz, UPC: 665596010026 doesn’t contain animal besides milk.
Thank you for your interest in Immaculate Baking. We hope this information is helpful to you.

Sincerely,
Rosemary Walters
Consumer Relations Representative
##:18563609

So there you have it! I’m keeping the below intact in case you want information about other vegetarian or vegan biscuit options (for example if Immaculate Baking brand is not available in your area):

In the meantime, if you are jonesing for biscuits but don’t want to or have the time to make your own, Pillsbury biscuits are vegetarian. Which doesn’t mean that they don’t contain some ingredients at which you may raise your eyebrows for other reasons.

(Note: While some say that the process for bleaching bleached flour involves using animal bone char, much like some white sugars, I could find no evidence of this – but I did find many sites debunking it. On the other hand, it is true that some white sugars are still made white using bone char as a filter/purifier, and the Pillsbury biscuits do have sugar, so you will need to let your conscience and where you fall on the vegetarian/vegan spectrum guide you.)

Pillsbury Grands Biscuit Ingredients

(From the Pillsbury website)

Enriched Flour Bleached (wheat flour, niacin, ferrous sulfate, thiamin mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), Water, Soybean Oil, Sugar, Baking Powder (sodium acid pyrophosphate, baking soda, sodium aluminum phosphate). Contains 2% or less of: Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Salt, Whey, Xanthan Gum.

 

And if you have a little more time and energy, Bisquick is also vegan (with the same caveats as for the Pillsbury biscuits, although note that Bisquick does not have sugar in it).

Bisquick Baking Mix Ingredients

(From the Betty Crocker website)

Enriched Flour Bleached (wheat flour, niacin, iron, thiamin mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), Partially Hydrogenated Soybean and/or Cottonseed Oil, Leavening (baking soda, sodium aluminum phosphate, monocalcium phosphate), Dextrose, Salt.

Searches that led to this article: https://www mangemerde com/are-immaculate-baking-company-biscuits-vegan-or-vegetarian-we-get-the-answer-plus-info-on-kfc-biscuits-and-pillsbury-biscuits/,  

Here’s Where to Rent a Wheelchair in the Denver Colorado Area

wheelchair rentals colorado

When I first had my hip replacement it became very clear that I was going to need a wheelchair for a while. I ended up buying my own wheelchair along with lots of other stuff, but for the first few days I didn’t realize that was what I as going to need to do, so I set about looking for wheelchair rentals in Boulder – which quickly turned into a search for renting a wheelchair just about anywhere in Colorado! It turns out that there are very few places in the Boulder / Denver / all of Colorado area where you can actually rent a wheelchair! Not in Boulder, not in Ft. Collins, and barely in Denver. Fortunately, after quite a bit of searching, I found one of the few places in Colorado that rents wheelchairs, and as fortunately, they are great! I committed that I would write this place up so that nobody else has endure hours of frustration trying to find a place to rent a freakin’ wheelchair in the greater Denver area of Colorado!

The place that I finally found, Mobility 4 America, is a one-man operation. That man is Tom Johnson, and believe me when I tell you that he has your best interest at heart. He runs the business from a home office, and when you go to pick up your wheelchair that you are renting from him, you’ll be meeting him at his house – or at one of a couple of other locations in the Denver area that he uses.

Because of this setup, he is pretty flexible in terms of when and where he can meet you. In my case, I got ahold of him on a Sunday morning (!) and by Sunday afternoon I was ensconced in my rental wheelchair (!!).

His prices are very good as well – I was pretty surprised by how little it cost to rent a wheelchair for a week!

He also rents power chairs, scooters, ramps, and lifts.

Tom’s website is mobility4america.com, and his telephone number is 303-455-4225.