Yes. I am THAT She Devil. The original, shedevil at vix.com. You know:
I am: mom, attorney, fathers' rights advocate
Actually, I'm a lawyer -and- I play one on tv.
Yep..that's me.
Earlier this year we had occasion to remove the front panel from the door of our Bosch dishwasher. The occasion was that it had developed a leak. Now fortunately, one of the most common reasons that a Bosch dishwasher will develop a leak – especially if it seems to be coming from under the door – is that the inlet water valve needs to be replaced. And also fortunately, it turns out that the water inlet valve is relatively easy to replace, once you take the door panel off. (In case you’re interested, this is the inlet water valve that we used to replace the leaking one – ain’t Amazon amazing?)
Well, as soon as that door panel came off of the front of that Bosch dishwasher, two weirdly-shaped plastic pieces literally fell out of the dishwasher, onto the floor (the floor of the kitchen, not the floor of the dishwasher). “Weird,” we thought, and set them aside, sure that it would be obvious where they went once we started putting the dishwasher back together.
Boy were we wrong.
What the hell was this thing?
At first we were misled by the apparent channels in the thing, which led us to think that it was some sort of harness for wiring. But, nope.
In fact, it took us quite a while to figure out what this thing was, but once we did, and once we actually figured out where it went, it was obvious. Dumb, but obvious. Of course it’s obvious once you know, so that is why I wrote this up for you, so you will know, without going through the frustration that we did.
It’s a door spacer for your Bosch dishwasher!
Well, actually, it was obvious where they went – whether they are a door spacer, or something to protect the inside of the door from damage, or both, still wasn’t 100% clear. We are choosing to call it a door spacer.
But once you know what they are, where they go, and how they go, is obvious. So if you have found pieces that look like the above, here is how they go back in.
Inserting the door spacer protector back into your dishwasher
Notice the single prong on the plastic door spacer; once you insert the plastic piece as in the above picture, it will seat into place with a satisfying click.
This is what it will look like from above, once it is clicked in and fully seated.
View from above
And that’s all there is to it. It probably took you way more time to discover what those silly plastic pieces are than it will to shove them back in!
By the way, in case you’re wondering, this is what the inlet water valve looks like:
Bosch Dishwasher Inlet Water Valve
And, again, you can find them on Amazon here (although be sure to check that it’s compatible with your model, this is the one that worked for our model). It costs all of $12.50.
Searches that led to this article: https://www mangemerde com/about-those-weird-plastic-pieces-from-inside-the-front-door-panel-of-a-bosch-dishwasher/,
The below, recounting 4th year medical student _Haliax_ witnessing his attending physician’s interaction with a mother who did not want to vaccinate her children because, you know, 9/11, chemtrails, and other conspiracy theories including vaccine conspiracies, has been making the rounds of the Internet (Facebook, etc.) as a screenshot. So of course, before posting it, I wanted to verify the authenticity of that screenshot, and of the source. I have now done so.
The below was originally posted on Reddit, in the AskReddit subReddit (known to the Reddit crowd as simply a “sub”, as in “in the AskReddit sub”), in response to a post titled “Doctors of Reddit, what are some of your anti-vax parent stories?” It was posted by the user who goes by the username of _Haliax_. It was originally posted in May of 2019, however this particular response seems as apt today as then. Here’s the post:
“4th year med student reporting in.
Had a rotation with a pediatrician where we ended up in the classic encounter with an anti-vaccination parent.
This lady was a conspiracy theory magnet. She casually mentioned everything from 9/11 to chemtrails. Of course she loved the idea of the vaccine conspiracy as well, opting to not protect her one year old to stick it to big pharma.
I relayed all of this to my attending after my exam (I would see the patient first, gather history and do my exam to present to my attending physician). He got this sort of lazy smirk on his face that screamed “watch this”.
We go back into the exam room and we cover all of the important bits of a well-child encounter. Growth charts, behavioral milestones, nutrition, sleep…
And then we get to vaccines. She lists approximately 15 reasons why vaccines are more dangerous than the disease they protect against (lol) in addition to the various evils of the pharmaceutical industry.
My attending listens quietly until she’s done with her soapbox (about one eternity later), and then interjects with:
“Have you considered the possibility that anti-vaccine propaganda could be an attempt by the Russians or the Chinese to weaken the health of the United States population?”
In a moment of catastrophic cognitive dissonance, I swear I heard a strange popping noise as her brain misfired. It actually broke her. The allure of the increasingly ridiculous conspiracy theory was just too strong.
She ended up agreeing to a modified vaccine schedule. I was flabbergasted. My attending just grinned at me in response. To this day I’m not sure the medical ethics of the situation are totally palatable, but goddamn the result was amazing.“
If you have a Le Creuset griddle or skillet that has the black enamel interior, and which now has a glaze of sticky, shiny, or sticking spots that you can’t get off no matter how much you scrub it, I’m going to tell you how to fix it, and about the “patina”.
Now, I’m sure that you, like me, bought this pricey piece because, hey, it’s cast iron that you can abuse in the washing process. Pile on the soap. Leave it to drip dry. Heck, you can even put it in the dishwasher!
Plus, it doesn’t need to be seasoned.
Or so they say.
But then in your searches you may have come across some articles that talk about the “patina” that lays down on the black enamel cooking surface. Specifically certain Le Creuset sites say, of the black interior enamel cooking surfaces, that it “has excellent, easy food release properties, which are enhanced once a natural surface patina develops.” These sites go on to explain that the “patina is produced from oils and fats used for greasing and those released from the food. After a few uses, a brownish film will appear. This patina should not be scrubbed off, as it greatly enhances the cooking and release performance of foods from the surface.”
So in essence, your black enameled interior cooking surface on your Le Creuset skillet, griddle, or grill (or other item), does need to be seasoned, but it’s expected to develop the seasoning as it’s used, rather than your having to season it initially.
What this means is that your black enamel cooking surface isn’t supposed to get spotlessly clean, it is supposed to grab the grease and oil that you put on it, or that leeches out from the foods you cook, leading to those spots that you have probably been diligently trying to scrub off (you can’t), lamenting that you have probably ruined your beautiful cookware the first time that you used it (you didn’t), or, at least, making you sad because it doesn’t look like it did when you first unboxed it (it’s not supposed to).
Which leads us to this:
How to Clean and Fix Your Le Creuset Black Enamel Interior
You are actually going to season patina that sucker. That’s right, even though you aren’t supposed to have to season patina it.
First, if you have sticky spots on your cookware, try to get them off as best as you can. What I did was I put a splash of dish soap, and a healthy sprinkle of baking soda, into the griddle, and then filled it with boiling water. Then I let the water cool until I could put my hands in it, and I scraped away at the sticky spots with my thumbnail. I should add that this was the only thing that worked – not scrubbing it with a nylon scrubber, not Bar Keeper’s friend – nothing else. Only the dish soap, baking soda, and thumbnail. Do the best you can, and don’t sweat it if there are glazed patches that remain behind (that’s baby patina), you just want to remove as much of the sticky patches as you can.
Now, preheat your oven to 400°, and while the oven is heating brush a neutral oil such as safflower or sunflower oil all over the interior of your pan. Make it a very thin layer. Any areas where the oil layer isn’t paper thin can end up sticky, instead of seasoned.
Now, put your pan in your oven for 30 minutes. Remove it, and let it cool completely.
Run your fingers along the inside of your pan to make sure that there are no sticky spots (if there are, put it back in the oven for another 15 minutes or so).
Assuming that the interior of your pan passes the “no sticky spots” test, repeat the oil-and-bake process two more times.
At this point, after the third coating and cooling, your black enamel cooking surface should be slick, and relatively smooth (not completely smooth, but relatively). Now when you cook on it, if things stick to it at all, they will come off fairly easily. You can still put it in the dishwasher, although expect to have to re-season it at some point if you do.
I call this “Still Life with Patina”
Searches that led to this article: https://www mangemerde com/how-to-clean-and-fix-your-le-creuset-black-enamel-interior/,
Yeah, “The Best Way to Make Cold Brew Coffee is Also the Easiest Way to Deal with the Grounds – Also: the Best Ratio for that Cold Brewed Coffee!” is a long title, but I needed to let you know what you’re in for. So hang on, because I’m going to rock your cold brew world! (Update: Ok, I just changed it to “The Best Way to Make Cold Brew Coffee Plus No-Mess Coffee Grounds! Also: the Best Ratio for that Cold Brewed Coffee!”..slightly better.)
Before we go any further, let’s clear up something at the outset: when you brew cold brew coffee you are making a coffee concentrate, which, in order to drink, you will first dilute with water (unless you’re looking for a crazed-weasel level of caffeine). That is one of the two perfect ratios people want to know – how much coffee concentrate to how much water. More on that below.
We got on the cold brew kick because – let’s face it – we’re lazy (which made dealing with cold brew grounds..heck, any grounds, a hassle, which makes our discovery even all the more exciting, but more on that in a moment).
The fact that it makes a cup of coffee so smooth that even if you slathered a baby’s bottom with the smoothest of mashed avocado, and topped it off with whipped cream, it couldn’t compete, is just an added benefit.
And the fact that cold brew allows you to tweak the strength of your coffee to just how you like it – from ‘delicate with a hint of coffee aroma’ to ‘motherfather can we dial it down to just high octane’? Another added benefit.
Have I mentioned that we’re lazy? And that we don’t like to deal with the grounds?
This is the lazyperson’s cold brew method, and the fact that it just happens to make amazing, smooth coffee is a bonus. Or, if you aren’t so lazy, then the fact that this cold brew method, that makes amazingly smooth coffee, is also super easy to make andsuper easy when it comes to dealing with the grounds is the bonus.
Either way, I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s PDA (that’s Pretty Damn Awesome, not public display of affection, although those are PDA too (see what I did there?)).
First we tried making it with our French press. It worked ok, but part of the whole laziness thing is that dealing with those grounds is a hassle.
So then, thinking it would be less hassle (and hey, more coffee!) we got one of these:
One day I was cleaning out the cupboard, and came across something that we had used months before in our futile efforts to make dealing with spent coffee grounds easier. They were filters for our French press (yes, we’re that lazy). My other half didn’t love them (hot coffee grounds and all that), so we used one, and then put the other 99 in the cupboard and promptly forgot about them.
Until I was cleaning out the cupboard and saw them, and pulled them out, and was just about to post them on Nextdoor in case someone else with a French press wanted to try them – seriously, I had already written the post and was proofreading it before pressing ‘send’ when…
LIGHTBULB!!
“Hey, these look like they would just fit in a Mason canning jar!”
(Yeah, we have talking light bulbs at our house.)
And thus the Best Way to Make Cold Brew Coffee Plus No-Mess Grounds (BWMCBCPNMG) was born! And here it is.
The Best Way to Make Cold Brew Coffee Plus No-Mess Coffee Grounds! Also: the Best Ratio for that Cold Brewed Coffee!
For this method you will need:
Mason (or other) 1 quart canning jars – as many as you want to store in your fridge at once
French press coffee filters (see link below)
Coffee (obviously) – course ground, as for a French press, is best
Instructions
Open and insert one French press coffee filter into each empty Mason jar, folding the top down over the outside of the jar.
Measure 2/3 cup coffee grounds (there’s that magic ratio) into each filter. So that ratio is 2/3 cup grounds to nearly 1 quart of water (nearly because even though you will fill the jars with water, some of the volume is taken up by the coffee).
Note that we use a canning funnel to do this, which makes it so much easier. You can get a canning funnel at most hardware stores, or on Amazon here.
Now, slowly add water to each jar, using a spoon to make sure that all of the grounds are moistened as you add the water. You do not want any of the grounds at the top to be dry!
Side view
Top view
Be sure to fill the jar so that the water comes to nearly the top of the jar!
Now, keeping the top of the filter folded down over the outside of the jar, screw the lid on.
Leave the filled jars on your counter for 12 to 24 hours, depending in part on how strong you like to make your cold brew, and in part on how lazy you are. We make ours in the evening, and leave it on the counter overnight for at least 12 hours. We also make enough for a week at a time.
When they are done (or, if you are like us, when you come out in the morning) they will look like this:
Note that while the filters will be discolored at the top on the outside, they will not leak or drip onto your counter.
Now take the cap off…
fold up the sides…
and holding the filter closed, gently start pulling the filter up so that it can drain down into the jar.
You will probably want to remove the filters over your sink or some other receptacle. Once they are completely drained, you can compost them (yes, the filters (link below) are compostable), or empty them out into your garden, or otherwise dispose of them.
You now have jars full of amazing cold brew coffee concentrate, to which you can add cold water, cold water and ice, or hot water!
Wonderful, smooth dark brew coffee, the lazy person’s way!
By the way, there are really two perfect ratios for making cold brew coffee. The first is the grounds:water ratio (which will differ depending on method, taste, and grind – for this method we have found the perfect ratio to be 2/3 cup grounds per full jar). Of course the ‘taste’ part means that there really can be no “perfect” ratio, but for this method the 2/3 cup grounds per jar is a darned good start.
The second “perfect ratio” is the cold brew concentrate to water ratio for when you are making your coffee to drink. And if there can really be no perfect ratio for making the cold brew concentrate, there can really be no perfect ratio for how you use it! It’s entirely to taste, depending in large part on how strong you like your coffee. Some people even drink this stuff straight! Most, though, will do either a 1:2 ratio (coffee concentrate to water) or a 1:1 ratio. So start there and adjust to..you got it..taste.
Ok, the filters that we use are the Caffi brand French press coffee filters, and you can get them on Amazon here. You may be able to get them elsewhere, but I’ve only been able to find them on Amazon. Fortunately they are only .21 each, at $21 per 100 pack.
A couple of days ago my 2017 Subaru Forester wouldn’t start. What’s more, every time I tried to start it, it flashed a dashboard light that looked just like a little padlock. That darned padlock dashboard icon flashed so fast that at first I could barely tell what it was, but it had to be something to do with why my Subaru wouldn’t start, right? Here’s a video of that flashing padlock symbol, which turns out to mean “anti-theft security system is in force” (how Robocop).
Here’s a still photo of the padlock security light – turns out it’s a padlock through..a windshield? A rear window? Somehow having a hole through which a padlock can fit in your glass doesn’t seem all that secure to me, but what do I know?
Flashing Padlock Icon on Dashboard
Anyways, here’s the thing: If your car has an anti-theft system, that little light always comes on when you start the car, and then turns right off again when the car starts. In fact, it always comes on with all the other dashboard lights that come on at the same time which is why nobody ever notices it.
Until the car doesn’t start and the dash lights are on and you are looking at them wondering why your car won’t start. THEN you notice it.
So, it turns out that flashing padlock icon has nothing to do with why your car won’t start.
Here’s what else I learned. First, my Subaru Forester (turbo, thank you very much) is barely two years old, so the fact that it wouldn’t start (wouldn’t even try to turn over – it’s dead, Jim) – was concerning, to say the least. And, oh yeah, the battery of course was relatively new as well. And the odds of the battery being the issue and it not even trying to turn over, not once, seemed unlikely.
After much searching online (probably not unlike the searching that you did that landed you here) we discovered that, of all things, it was a blown starter fuse!
In case you are here because your car won’t start and you just happen to have a Subaru, we found this page here on how to change a Subaru fuse and where they are incredibly helpful. In fact, it was all that we needed to check all of the fuses, determine which one was blown, and change it (and Subaru happily includes replacement fusesand a fuse puller in the fuse box under the hood – although the starter fuse that needed changing was in the interior fuse panel by the steering wheel).
If the search that led you here isn’t an issue with a Subaru, you can find all you need by searching on the Internet for “how to change fuse {make and model of your car}”.
Searches that led to this article: https://www mangemerde com/what-is-the-lighted-padlock-icon-on-my-dashboard-and-why-wont-my-car-start/, subaru forester car wont start and car with lock symbol,
If you haven’t had to buy replacement windows for your house recently (or at all) be prepared for sticker shock. Here’s what I’ve learned, and here’s what we did. Note that we first spoke with several different window companies, including Clearwater and Home Depot (I’m including an explanation of Home Depot windows versus having Home Depot install the windows – think that $149 per window is a deal? It’s not – it doesn’t even apply to windows you order through Home Depot – but more on that shortly).
We recently needed to replace the windows on our house – nearly all of the windows (12), because they are very old, drafty, don’t slide well, and in some cases are cracked. In fact, they were the original windows with which this house was built, back in the 70s. Aluminum frames, many dented or even bent… you get the idea. We were also going to replace a sliding patio door.
Because we have a friend who works at Clearwater, we wanted to go with them if possible – we really did. So we arranged for a Clearwater Exteriors sales person to come to our house, along with our friend (who is not a sales person).
This is when we got the sticker shock of our lives. Even with the ‘friends and family’ discount (which to be fair they were going to give us), if we wanted top quality windows it was going to be over $18000 dollars. If you’re playing along at home, that works out to well over $1000 per window.
Then we started checking around, asking neighbors, reading online reviews, etc., and quickly realized that every window company is going to send over a sales person (“for a free estimate”). And we discovered that they all use the same high pressure sales tactic (think ‘car salesman’), and that no matter what window company we used it was going to cost us well over $17000.
This is when we started thinking creatively and looking for other options.
Several neighbors had recommended going through Home Depot, based on their own experiences with Home Depot, and, as it happened, Home Depot was having a 15% off everything sale, and they were advertising installation for only $149 per window!
So we grabbed our window measurements, and went to Home Depot to order windows.
The first thing that I need to tell you at this juncture is that if you are going to call or go into Home Depot, the department you want is called “millwork” (which is basically jargon for ‘building material’).
But the second thing that I need to share with you is the big thing.
We got to Home Depot, measurements in hand, and sat down with one of their window people. We gave them the measurements, picked out the brand, style and quality of window that we wanted, and put together an order. It came to about $6000. We hadn’t actually ordered it yet, when we had this conversation with the Home Depot person (“HDP”):
Us: Ok (pointing to big sign that says “Window installation only $149 per window”) now we’re going to get this $149 installation price, right?”
HDP: Oh, no, that only applies if you order your windows through our Home Depot Exteriors company. We don’t have an installation service for windows that you order directly through Home Depot.
Let me repeat what the Home Depot person said again, just so you really catch it:
“that only applies if you order your windows through our Home Depot Exteriors company.”
and
“We don’t have an installation service for windows that you order directly through Home Depot.”
Home Depot Exteriors is a completely different organization that is in direct competition with, you guessed it, Clearwater Exterior, Anderson Windows, and other window companies that are going to try to pressure you into buying a big dollar window package.
And, in fact, just to be sure, we scheduled a ‘free estimate’ with Home Depot Exteriors, and their estimate came in at around $17000, including that $149 per window installation (in other words, they make it up on the windows – the exact same windows you can go into your friendly neighborhood Home Depot and order directly. But then of course you have to somehow get the windows installed, and you are on your own there.)
Fortunately for us, we have a neighbor who is in the window and door business. He came highly recommended by several neighbors, and so we contacted him and asked him whether he would be willing to install windows for us that we had purchased ourselves. And because he is wonderful, he said yes, and we agreed on a price that was fair to him, and also to us. While he of course couldn’t give us a warranty on the windows themselves, he still gave us a warranty on the installation. And the window brand that we chose at Home Depot – Milgard – comes with a lifetime warranty on the product.
By ordering the windows directly through Home Depot (not Home Depot Exteriors) and having a professional window installer install them for us, we saved at least $5000 off even the most ‘conservative’ estimate, and we got a top-of-the-line window product to boot.
If you happen to be in Colorado, let me tell you one more thing. We first went to the Longmont Home Depot, where the person who took our original window order (where we learned that the $149 installation didn’t apply) was very nice, but knew very little. In fact, he originally told us that we would get the $149 installation price with our order, but that we would have to contact “this person for the installation” (handing us a card). Turns out that “this person” was the Home Depot Exteriors guy, who of course informed us that we would have to go through them to get the windows, and turned on the high pressure sales charm.
Then we went to the store in Superior, after calling them and being assured that someone in millwork would be there all day. We arrived a bit after 2:00pm, couldn’t find anyone, had them paged, waited some more, and finally found someone who knew where everyone in millwork was: gone. They had all left early for the day.
We finally went to the Boulder store, where the awesome Miriam helped us place our order. She was very knowledgeable, and assured us that she was there 6 days as week, from 9 to 5 at least.
So, the morals of this story are two-fold:
1. If you can find someone to install them, order your windows through Home Depot, but stay away from Home Depot Exterors, and
2. If you are in Colorado and it’s local enough for you, go to the Boulder Home Depot and ask for Miriam.
The other day I was talking with Mah Mayun about David Price, a/k/a the Crazy Lunch Menu Man, or just the Crazy Lunch Guy. He is the man who used to read off the school lunch menu, in an over-the-top fashion, for certain schools. For example, you could call the Charlotte Observer’s information line, punch in a code, and get the school lunch menu information for the City of Charlotte public schools.
Anyways, I was talking with MM about the crazy lunch guy, and as it happens he had never heard of David Price, or the phenomenon that was the Crazy Lunch guy.
So I started searching for a recording or three of the crazy lunch guy reading some of his menus, and I could only find one. One, on the entire Internet! And that one, posted many years ago, was on Soundcloud. It was posted to Soundcloud 5 years ago, to be exact, by the creatively handled “user227375821”.
Knowing as I do that anything posted to the cloud is really just posted to someone else’s computer, and therefore the one extant recording of Dave the Crazy Lunch Menu Man reading a lunch menu could disappear without a trace 💣 just like that, I grabbed the sound file (I’m fairly sure that user227375821 won’t mind), so that it could be preserved here for posterity, and I am posting it at the end of this post.
Not only that, but through the magic of Archive.org I found an old Salon article about the Lunch Menu Man, and through that I found another recording of Price, introducing himself, as, yes, The Lunch Menu Man! I’ve included that as well.
The Salon article, which was published in the summer of 2000, and written by author and McSweeney’s founder Dave Eggers, explains that, among other things, Price was then “a 34-year-old former car salesman who for the past year has been reading the Charlotte, North Carolina school lunch menus for a local voice mail system.”
Eggers then pursued an interview with Price and seemed surprised when “he sounds like a normal person,” explaining that “In fact, he seems downright nice — kind and polite and seemingly concerned with keeping kids in school and well-fed. He says he is married and has three young children. But just when I am ready to believe in his normalcy, when I start feeling like the existence of the Lunch Menu Man is a perfectly regular thing, I come to my senses. I was talking to a grown man who reads, like a raving madman, children’s lunch menus — and makes a living doing it. How? Why?”
The article then goes into Price’s background, and how he came to end up as the crazy lunch guy. Eggers explains that, once getting the lunch menu job, “With no prior experience as a professional lunatic, he simply began reading the standard menu as if he were in the deepest depths of delusional DT’s.”
By the way, David Price wrote a book called Out to Lunch: The Lunch Menu Man’s Guide to School Lunch, which Amazon says is a “collection of wacky jokes, song parodies, and short stories about lunch includes tidbits on such celebrity foods as “Okra” Winfrey and “Johnny-Cake” Depp, as well as the scoop on the First Annual Grammy-cracker Awards.” You can still get copies of the Lunch Menu Man’s book on Amazon here.
Here’s the audio.
David Price introducing himself as the Lunch Menu Man
Audio of the Crazy Lunch Menu Man reading 3 different lunch menus
Searches that led to this article: https://www mangemerde com/audio-of-crazy-lunch-menu-man-david-price-reading-school-lunch-menu/,
[Updated 1/17/18! Keep reading for the definitive answer!]
If you are vegetarian, as am I, or vegan, you may have found yourself wondering whether Immaculate Baking Company’s biscuits are vegetarian, owing to the listing of “natural flavor” in the ingredients. Same for KFC biscuits (Kentucky Fried Chicken). The thing is, “natural flavor” or “natural flavoring” (or “flavour” or “flavouring”) in a list of ingredients is often code for “animal derived product”. And not just animal derived, like milk, but dead animal derived, like chicken fat or bacon grease.
Having looked all up and down the can (canister? container? just what do you call that pop’n’fresh whack-on-the-counter packaging?) and finding no indication whatsoever as to whether the Immaculate Baking Company biscuits are vegetarian, let alone vegan, and finding that vague and ambiguous (if not downright troubling) ingredient, ‘Natural Flavor’, I of course took to the Internet, sure that the answer as to whether Immaculate’s natural flavor was animal derived and whether the biscuits were vegetarian or vegan would be easy to find.
Not so much.
In fact, in over 1,000,000 search results the answer was not to be found; at least not to be found in the first several pages.
So I decided to write to Immaculate Baking Company directly, asking them point blank about the matter.
Here’s what I wrote:
Hello,
Can you please let me know whether your biscuits are vegetarian or vegan, or if the natural flavor listed as an ingredient comes from animals?
Thank you!
Anne
And here is the reply that I received:
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Response From Immaculate Baking – 2018/01/10-1452US
Dear Anne,
Thank you for contacting Immaculate Baking.
Per Labeling: Flaky Biscuits do not contain animal ingredients.
Thank you for your interest in Immaculate Baking. We hope this information is helpful to you.
At first I was pleased by this response. Then I realized that the representative had included “Per Labeling”. Had she simply looked at the label and assumed (as many would) that there were no animal products listed in the ingredients (overlooking my specific question about the source of the ‘natural flavor’)?
I wrote back, but I also knew it would take one to two days to hear back from them. So I called their 800 number to see if I could get confirmation any more quickly that way.
Guess what, I couldn’t. The very pleasant person who answered the phone said that she was not authorized to tell me what the ‘natural flavor’ was, because “if they listed all of their ingredients, then people could copy their product.” So, she told me, she was going to have to send my query to a ‘product specialist’, and they would get back to me in…wait for it, one to two days.
This is actually at least better than my quest to determine whether the ‘natural flavor’ in KFC (Kentucy Fried Chicken) biscuits was vegetarian or not. In that case the very nice representative basically did the same search on their website that I did, and then apologized that she couldn’t help me more.
Me: “You mean that you have no access to resources other than performing the very same search on the very same site that I just searched myself??”
Her: “I’m afraid so.”
Me: (Thinking to self) At least Immaculate Baking was able to boot it up to a product specialist..of course I may never actually hear back from them.
So, that’s where this stands. Hopefully they will actually get back to me, and even more hopefully that natural flavor in their biscuits will actually be vegetarian, if not vegan.
Another note, which the astute of you will have already noticed from the email address: Immaculate Baking company is now a division of giant food conglomerate General Mills. So, as with everything, let your conscience be your guide.
UPDATE! On 1/17/18 (so indeed two days later) I heard back from Immaculate (a/k/a subsidiary of General Mills). Here is what they said:
Dear Ms. Mitchell,
Thank you for contacting Immaculate Baking.
Organic Natural Biscuits IBC Flaky 16 oz, UPC: 665596010026 doesn’t contain animal besides milk.
Thank you for your interest in Immaculate Baking. We hope this information is helpful to you.
So there you have it! I’m keeping the below intact in case you want information about other vegetarian or vegan biscuit options (for example if Immaculate Baking brand is not available in your area):
In the meantime, if you are jonesing for biscuits but don’t want to or have the time to make your own, Pillsbury biscuits are vegetarian. Which doesn’t mean that they don’t contain some ingredients at which you may raise your eyebrows for other reasons.
(Note: While some say that the process for bleaching bleached flour involves using animal bone char, much like some white sugars, I could find no evidence of this – but I did find many sites debunking it. On the other hand, it is true that some white sugars are still made white using bone char as a filter/purifier, and the Pillsbury biscuits do have sugar, so you will need to let your conscience and where you fall on the vegetarian/vegan spectrum guide you.)
And if you have a little more time and energy, Bisquick is also vegan (with the same caveats as for the Pillsbury biscuits, although note that Bisquick does not have sugar in it).
Searches that led to this article: https://www mangemerde com/are-immaculate-baking-company-biscuits-vegan-or-vegetarian-we-get-the-answer-plus-info-on-kfc-biscuits-and-pillsbury-biscuits/,
When I first had my hip replacement it became very clear that I was going to need a wheelchair for a while. I ended up buying my own wheelchair along with lots of other stuff, but for the first few days I didn’t realize that was what I as going to need to do, so I set about looking for wheelchair rentals in Boulder – which quickly turned into a search for renting a wheelchair just about anywhere in Colorado! It turns out that there are very few places in the Boulder / Denver / all of Colorado area where you can actually rent a wheelchair! Not in Boulder, not in Ft. Collins, and barely in Denver. Fortunately, after quite a bit of searching, I found one of the few places in Colorado that rents wheelchairs, and as fortunately, they are great! I committed that I would write this place up so that nobody else has endure hours of frustration trying to find a place to rent a freakin’ wheelchair in the greater Denver area of Colorado!
The place that I finally found, Mobility 4 America, is a one-man operation. That man is Tom Johnson, and believe me when I tell you that he has your best interest at heart. He runs the business from a home office, and when you go to pick up your wheelchair that you are renting from him, you’ll be meeting him at his house – or at one of a couple of other locations in the Denver area that he uses.
Because of this setup, he is pretty flexible in terms of when and where he can meet you. In my case, I got ahold of him on a Sunday morning (!) and by Sunday afternoon I was ensconced in my rental wheelchair (!!).
His prices are very good as well – I was pretty surprised by how little it cost to rent a wheelchair for a week!
He also rents power chairs, scooters, ramps, and lifts.
If you’re wondering how to prepare for a hip replacement, and what to expect from that hip replacement, let me tell you my experience. As those of you who follow me on Facebook (and if you don’t yet, I invite you to do so) know, I had a total hip replacement 19 days ago (I’m writing this on August 12, 2017). Let me tell you that it has been nothing like I expected or was lead to believe. Here is what you need to know before your hip replacement, and what you need in order to prepare for your hip replacement, including links to things that will make your life much easier. Here’s what you need, and will want, to know. Now, I had a posterior hip replacement, so if you are having an anterior hip replacement your mileage may vary, but only by a few miles per gallon. (Note: Text links are not affiliate links, because I want you to trust what I’m saying. Images are affiliate links only because that’s the way that Amazon makes it easy to embed them. So click on the text links, not the pictures (unless you feel you want to reward me for this info. :~) ))
I was surprised to discover is that hip replacement is much like childbirth inasmuch as you are told very similar lies. If you or your spouse has ever given birth, you know that one of the biggest lies out there is “Oh, you won’t even remember the pain!” BS! Childbirth hurts like h*ll, and I bloody well remember it even though the last time was nearly 20 years ago. But I digress…
Hip Replacements and Pain
The first lie is “the pain from the hip replacement is much better than the pain your hip is giving you, in fact you will get immediate relief.” It is true that you won’t feel any pain in your hip, because they have basically decapitated your femur and removed those nerves along with it.
What they don’t tell you is that the pain in the muscles that were manipulated to get the appliance in, etc., and from the incision itself, is going to be hellatious.
Fortunately, they give you great painkillers for this.
Unfortunately, those painkillers may very well cause you to become so constipated (look it up) that you may end up impacted (look that up too). So if you’re planning on taking the narcotics, plan ahead. Finding a balance between too loose (you do not want to suddenly need the bathroom urgently, because you won’t be able to make it) and too-damned-hard is tricky. Oh, you also can’t take most laxatives or in fact most over-the-counter preparations of any kind, because you’re going to be on blood thinners, which are negatively affected by just about everything (more on that later).
How Quickly You Will be Back to Your Old Self
The next lie is “I/Someone I know had a hip replacement and they were walking/running/dancing/skiing/mountaineering/paragliding the following week.”
Now, occasionally some of this is true, but what they didn’t tell you (or didn’t know) is that person’s doctor told them to barely walk on it at all for as many as six weeks. Those people who say they were up and running within days ignored their doctor’s advice. Don’t believe me? Go ahead and start doing some online research for total hip replacement recuperation guidelines. In fact, do it anyways because it will reveal to you all of the restrictions that you didn’t know you were going to be under. Some of them forever.
I hasten to add that this isn’t to say that getting a total hip replacement isn’t worth it – it totally is (see what I did there?) – but going in eyes wide open is so much better than having nasty surprises when you wake up on the other side.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, you should expect to only be allowed to “toe touch” with your operated-on leg for the first several weeks – or if your hip install went supremely well, maybe you will be allowed to put 20-to-25% of your weight on that leg (however one determines that) when you are standing still, such as in the shower or “at the sink”, as my surgical team told me (because yeah, you’re going to feel like doing dishes). Either way, you will be using a walker and/or crutches for the first few weeks. All. The. Time.
On the other hand, you may end up like I did, not being allowed to put any weight on that leg – meaning I’m not even allowed to toe touch with that leg for 6 weeks. Which means hopping around on one leg with a walker or crutches, which gets old really fast. Not to mention that it’s really painful.
So you will end up sitting a lot. Only guess what. You also are not allowed to sit upright (well, technically you are allowed to sit upright but not a smidgen more than upright – anything more acute than a 90° angle is strictly forbidden or you may dislocate your new hip.
So, if you are anything like me, and wanting to make this not-being-allowed-to-walk-on-your-operated-leg-or-sit-straight-up as non-unpleasant and workable as possible, you may want to get a wheelchair or two.
Now, before I talk more about this, I realize that buying a wheelchair, let alone two, may sound extravagant, but hear me out.
First, you do not want to dislocate that new hip!
Second, unless you plan to lay around in bed all day for weeks, you are going to want to be able to get around easily, both in your own house, and while you are out of the house.
Third, they are a legitimate medical expense which (my tax attorney promises me) you can deduct from your taxes. (Note that your medical expenses need to exceed 10% of your adjusted gross income for the year in which you want to deduct them in order to qualify. If you are having major surgery, the odds are good that your medical expenses will exceed that.) I happen to be extra “lucky” in that I broke my wrist dancing earlier this year, and my out of pocket expenses for that surgery satisfied my deductible, so my hip replacement itself was on the house (i.e. my insurance paid for it).
Fourth, and even if you can’t deduct them as a medical expense, when you are done with all of your various medical equipment you can donate it to any number of charities, and take the charitable deduction on your taxes, for which there is no minimum (just don’t try to both claim it as a medical expense and as a charitable deduction).
Ok, so, as soon as I realized that I was going to be hop-along-Annie for six weeks, I ordered this wheelchair on Amazon (remember that the text link is not an affiliate link, but the image is):
Now, the cool thing about this wheelchair is that for what you get, it’s reasonably inexpensive at $188 which includes free 2-day Prime shipping.
Also, it’s pretty lightweight, and, coolest of all, the arms flip up and out of the way (easily) so that you can belly right up to any dining table.
Wheelchair with Arms Flipped Up and Folded Back
This was the first wheelchair that I got. But after a couple of days with it, and being in it for hours on end, my back started to hurt from the strain of constantly making sure I was not fully upright and risking bending at fewer than 90°. Don’t get me wrong, it is great for a couple of hours, but not for much more than that.
So, I thought to myself, “How cool would it be if there were such a thing as a reclining wheelchair??”
Then I thought “I wonder if there is such a thing as a reclining wheelchair!?”
Then I got on Amazon and discovered that there is!
Now, this wheelchair is a bit more expensive than the first one (~$300 and free shipping), but if you can only get one wheelchair, this is the one to get – but be warned that it is bigger, and heavier, and so not as portable.
I should mention that I am sitting in this wheelchair as I type this. In fact, I’ve been in it for the last 6 hours, and I feel great. Yesterday I was in it for at least 12 hours (of course getting up and walkering to the bathroom, etc.) and felt great. This wheelchair is a gamechanger for anyone who has had a hip replacement and is under those no-weight and no-sitting-at-91°+ restrictions.
So what did I do with the first wheelchair? Remember how I mentioned that it was quite portable, and that the reclining wheelchair..isn’t?
So, the first wheelchair now lives in my car, where it is perfect for being out and about for a couple of hours, and for going out to eat (because of those nifty swing-away arms).
Of course, even with a wheelchair or two, you will need crutches or a walker, or both. I strongly recommend at least one walker, because they are a hell of a lot more stable than crutches. Actually I recommend two or more walkers (one for getting in and out of the car, for example), another as your regular in-house walker that stays in your house.
Now, your surgeon can write a prescription for a walker and crutches (and he may even write one for a wheelchair) in which case your insurance may cover it.
Here’s what you need to know: if your house, like my house, has any narrow doors, any standard walker is unlikely to fit through them full-frontal (and you do not want to be twisting around sideways to get through the door). In my case, my 1970s house has 23″ (twenty-three inch) doors on all the bathrooms. That’s narrow, folks! Take into account the door jam, and the door edge when the door is open, and that brings the navigable opening down to 21″ inches, 22″ if you’re lucky.
One of My Bathrooms – That’s One Narrow Doorway!
Guess what? Walkers are almost universally 23-24″ wide at the base (you have to measure at the bottom, across the “feet” of the walker, as they are wider at the base than at the top, for stability).
I’ve done a lot of research, and there is one company (Hugo) that used to make a 20″ walker. The operative term is “used to”. Hugo’s (very well reviewed, and deservedly so) walkers are now all 23.4″ walkers. (I found what was probably the last 20″ Hugo walker on eBay; eat your heart out.)
However, there is one (and so far as I could determine after lots of research only one) walker that you can ‘hack’ to bring its widest part down to 20.5″.
The ‘hack’ is putting the right wheel on the left leg, and vice versa. This has the effect of putting the wheels on the inside instead of the outside, bringing the widest part (the base of the legs) down to 20.5″. It’s very easy to do – almost like they expected people to do it. :~)
As you can see in this picture, this allows the walker to just barely fit through my crazy-narrow doorways. (I almost fell over trying to take this picture – don’t try this at home.)
Back to Blood Thinners and Other Clot Prevention
As I mentioned above, you will be on blood thinners (probably Coumadin) for the first month. Not only does this mean that you can’t have just about any over-the-counter medication or preparation (Advil and other NSAIDs are out, Pepto Bismal is right out, pretty much everything is right out), but it also means that you may need to change your diet and it will mean that you have to normalize your diet so that you are eating roughly the same thing every day for that month that you are on blood thinners.
In reality, it’s not what you eat that you need to normalize, but your Vitamin K intake that you need to standardize, because Vitamin K is the coagulating factor, and of course the reason you are on blood thinners is so that you don’t get a clot. The more Vitamin K you eat, the higher the dose of blood thinner you will need, and if you don’t eat roughly the same amount of Vitamin K every day, then your doctor won’t be able to regulate how your blood is clotting. They monitor this by having you take several blood tests over the course of the month.
Now, in my case I had to radically change my diet, because I’m a strict vegetarian eating a very healthful (usually) diet, so I get a ton of Vitamin K (usually a good thing). Leafy greens are out. In fact pretty much anything green is out, including green herbs, green vegetables, etc.. Most nuts are out. Nut oils and vegetable oils are out. Onions, garlic and ginger are out. Chia seeds are out. Chamomile is out (in fact any herbal tea is out, although black tea is just fine). And on and on.
I hasten to add that these things don’t have to be out if you have someone who will make sure that you are getting roughly the same amount of Vitamin K every day. So if you want to have a big old leafy green salad, you need to have roughly that same thing every day. In my case, it is a whole lot easier to just avoid it all.
In addition to those blood thinners, your surgeon may also have you wear compression stockings. Ones that come all the way up to your thighs. 24 hours a day. For weeks. Which is just as well that it’s round the clock because you can’t bend to take them off or put them back on.
I HATED those damned compression stockings. They made it very difficult to sleep at night. I was allowed to take them off at 2 1/2 weeks and I was thrilled.
If your experience is like mine, you will wake up from surgery with those stockings already on you. And on top of that, your legs will be inside these pneumatic squeezy things that squeeze your legs every minute (they are very serious about avoiding clots, because without all of these clot avoidance measures the odds of someone who has just had hip surgery developing a blood clot is apparently very high).
I didn’t mind the leg squeezers, but I sure did hate those stockings!
Toileting
Going to the bathroom when you’ve just had hip replacement surgery presents unique challenges. You’re not allowed to sit at anything more acute than 90°, let alone bend forward to wipe. Some recommendations say that you should not twist around, and in any event you won’t want to because your incision and muscles will yell at you.
Everybody is going to tell you to get a raised toilet seat; in fact your surgeon can write you a prescription for one.
This is because for people who are average height (whatever that is) or on the taller side, sitting on a normal height toilet seat necessarily pitches you into a more acute angle than 90°.
I’m 5’3. That damn raised toilet seat made me feel like Edith Ann in that big old rocking chair. It had precisely the opposite effect than intended, because my feet didn’t even reach the floor, so my hips were definitely forced into a dangerous angle. Fortunately, I’d gotten all of this equipment a few weeks before the big day, so that I could practice with it, and so I discovered this problem when I could still do something about it.
What I did about it was rip that raised toilet seat out, and upgrade my regular toilet seat to this amazing bidet toilet seat.
This seat was easy for me to install (took about 20 minutes), and in one fell swoop it dispensed with both the “how to effectively wipe” problem, and the matter of keeping me clean ‘down there’ when, as it turned out, I wasn’t going to be up to trying to take a shower for the first couple of weeks.
After a lot of research I settled on this particular bidet because a) it got wonderful reviews, and b) it actually heats the water, and c) it has several different functions (posterior, feminine area, etc… it even has a dryer!)
I don’t know what I would have done without it.
Now, all that said, even if a raised toilet seat is not for you, you will need handrails on either side of your toilet (raised toilet seats come with the handrails included).
I have no opinion on these, because I cannibalized a free-standing bedside commode that I happened to have, and used the handrails from that around my be-bidetted toilet.
Underwear
While we’re in that area, let me take a moment to talk with you about underwear.
You are going to have an incision that is several inches long, starting on your hip, and running down towards your leg.
That means that the leg holes for many styles of regular panty or briefs are going to hit right across your incision. Ouch.
So, before my surgery, I started searching for various types of panty styles that would be comfortable and not binding on my incision, and with a length that would not have the elastic of the leg opening laying right on my incision.
I ordered several styles of underwear that I thought might work. I did this before my surgery, so that they would be ready when I got home. And when I did get home, and tried them on (which in and of itself was a chore, remember you can’t bend that operated-on leg less than a 90° angle, so you have to keep that leg pointed away and down, and use a reacher grabber tool (see below) to ease the panty over your foot and up your leg), I discovered that all of them were very uncomfortable on my poor incised hip…except one. Now, to be honest, as I opened all of the packages, before going in for my surgery, I was pretty sure that these ones would be comfy, it was kind of obvious right off the bat. But I still tried all of the others on anyways.
These boy short briefs not only were the only style that wasn’t uncomfortable; they are in fact extremely comfortable!
As I said in my review of them on Amazon, “The moment I put them on I felt like… well… you know that feeling when you put on your favourite pair of old, broken-in jeans? That “Aaaaaah” moment? That is how these briefs felt from the very first time that I put them on (which was the day after surgery).”
They are super soft, yet not at all clingy. And because you want to avoid having them irritate your incision, which at least on me they completely cover, so no edge is touching my incision, I strongly recommend that you order them one size up from the size that you would ordinarily order. That way, instead of them being form fitting, like in the picture, they will allow a tiny bit of room so that they don’t ride on your incision.
Men: You are probably already familiar with soft cotton boxer briefs. If you don’t wear them, now is the time to start. Get them a size larger than you normally would.
Sleeping
If your hip surgery goes anything like mine, you will wake up to find a pillow stuffed in your groin. Well, not in your groin, but groin-adjacent.
The reason for the pillow, or at least one of the primary reasons, is to make sure that you do not rotate your operated-on hip while you are sleeping, or bring it in closer to the midline of your body than a neutral position (which is also why you are not allowed to cross your legs).
Depending on what type of hip replacement you have (posterior or anterior, and maybe even on the type of appliance they use) your surgeon may tell you that you must sleep on your back for the first few weeks. (This was horrible for me – that combined with the d*mned compression stockings made for many nights where I got little sleep. Now, I don’t believe in taking sleep medications, but I was ready then! But..nooooo..no sleeping meds because… blood thinners. The only sleep med I could take was Benadryl, which didn’t touch it. But I digress, again.)
Eventually you will be allowed to sleep on your side, but only with a pillow between your knees and ankles, so that, again, your operated-on leg doesn’t stray across that midline, into the danger zone. At some point you may be able to do away with the pillow – I don’t actually know yet what my own surgeon’s rule is on that, I’ll be asking at my 6-week check.
Now, I ended up ordering and trying six..count ’em, 6 different pillows promising comfort for your legs, in varying shapes and sizes, and all but one of them were awful. Fortunately that other one is wonderful.
This pillow really is ideal. First of all, it’s long enough to actually pad both your knees and your ankles (which is super important to ensure that your operated-on leg stays in a neutral position).
It’s also, at least for me, just the right thickness, while being not too firm, and not too soft. That’s very Goldilocksian, I realize, but you are going to find that it’s critical that what you have between your legs is just the right fit (yeah, I know). Otherwise you will not only be too uncomfortable to sleep, but it can also cause pain at your incision and for those poor muscles that have been ..well, you don’t want to know (I actually read my operative report… my advice is do not read the nitty gritty details about what a hip replacement surgery entails before your own surgery. And only after if you are sure you can stomach it).
Various Things That You Will Want to Make Life After Hip Replacement Surgery Easier
Here are some things that, over the weeks following my own total hip replacement surgery, I found made life much easier.
Reacher Grabber Tools
First, and foremost, is the reacher grabber tool (reacher grabber, not grabber reacher, whom I think is Jack Reacher’s cousin). Now, the ones that come in ‘hip surgery kits’ (both on Amazon, and that your surgical center may give you) SUCK. I don’t know why they are rated 4 stars out of 5 on Amazon, but if you read the negative reviews, they all say the same thing that I found to be the case. First, here’s a picture of one of those reacher grabber things:
The problem the above reacher grabber tool is that (as many reviews say), the elastic attached to the ‘jaw’ of the grabber doesn’t always retract, so that the claw stays shut. In fact, on the two that I have, the jaw sometimes twists and get stucks up on the side of the bar, so that the claw is jammed shut!
Which is why I recommend this reacher grabber tool instead. In fact, it’s so good that I bought two more (hint: you will want to have reacher grabber tools strewn about the house in several rooms).
Weirdly, at the time that I’m writing this, the listing for that reacher grabber on Amazon says that they are currently not shipping it “because customers have told us there may be something wrong with our inventory of the item, the way we are shipping it, or the way it’s described here.” I’m guessing that by the time you read this it will be fixed, but just in case not, here are two more reacher grabbers to check out.
This reacher grabber tool is made by the same company, Vive, as the one that I like so well. The head is a bit different, in fact it looks like it might work even a bit better than the ones I have (if that’s even possible!):
And this other reacher grabber tool looks identical to the one that I like so well, other than it having blue bits, although I note that it’s made (or at least branded) by the company (RMS) that makes the reacher grabber that I dislike so much.
A Tray to Carry Stuff on Your Lap While in a Wheelchair
If you are going to get a wheelchair (and I really do recommend it), both of your hands will be full of, you know, wheel, as you move about your house. I found that this tray is the perfect size to sit right on your lap as you are wheeling around, and it has nice deep sides (2″ deep) to keep things in the tray rather than tumbling off the edge.
Of course, if your house is anything like mine, you may find that on occasion your lap is full of cat, instead.
Gripper Pad Rounds
You will also want to line your tray with a few of these round gripper pads to make sure that things that you put in your tray on your lap don’t slide around while you are wheeling through the house. You could also get a roll of the same material and cut it to fit, but these disks are so useful for all kinds of things, plus they come in a package of 12 for $6. How can you go wrong? I actually first discovered these when I broke my wrist, as they are great for keeping something from sliding around the counter when you are trying to open it.
A Tip-Proof Coffee Cup
I have had two of these HotJo brand tip-proof travel mugs for decades. They are fantastic. They are solid stoneware, a generous 18 ounces, and the recessed lid clips in. And they are truly tip-proof.
They are exactly what you want for ferrying your hot coffee or tea, in your tray, from the kitchen to your living room/dining room/desk/table/bed.
Plus, if you, like me, like sipping your beverage through a metal straw (because plastic straws leach BPA and other nasties when used with hot beverages, and some even melt), the sip hole in the lid perfectly accommodates those metal straws!
A small crossbody bag will become your best friend. You will find yourself wearing and using it constantly to carry small things (your phone, a prescription bottle, your glasses, etc.), and it will be especially handy while you are using your walker or wheelchair.
I happened to already have one that looks a lot like this one:
If you don’t have one, there are tons available on Amazon (including the one like mine in above the picture). Or here is a small crossbody bag for men or women for $19.99.
A Walker ‘Saddlebag’
I was really lucky in that my Hugo walker came with not just one, but two saddlebags (one on each side). So I took one off and put it on one of my other walkers. I use these saddlebags all the time (that is when I’m using my walker, which I still have to do to get to the bathroom, or out of the bedroom to the main part of the house where the wheelchair is (the wheelchair can’t maneuver in through my bedroom door which is on the side of the end of a narrow hallway).
But if I didn’t already have saddlebags, I would totally get this one, which has great reviews and is only $12, to boot!
I hope that you have found this helpful; I know that I wish that I had had such a resource before I went in under the knife!
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