Starbucks Haiku
And you can quote me: "I hereby announce the opening of the Starbucks haiku thread. Please submit your Starbucks haiku below. "
Posted in Bad Writing, September 23rd, 2006
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I hereby announce the opening of the Starbucks haiku thread. Please submit your Starbucks haiku below.
I’ll start:
Cool smooth sweet top skin
Brown moist tender joy below
Maple oat nut scone
Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!
More posts:
On ev’ry corner
Sirens beckon, hear their call
World domination
Comment by Lytspeed — September 23, 2006 @ 12:10 pm
Morning venti cup
Mocha chip frappuccino
Makes my wife’s toes curl
Comment by Lytspeed — September 23, 2006 @ 12:22 pm
Traffic annoyance:
Hands shake, eyes shift, grouchy-puss.
That was no decaf.
Comment by Ginger — September 24, 2006 @ 2:46 pm
The summer sun burns -
Over-roasted coffee beans,
They taste like burning
Comment by rone — September 24, 2006 @ 4:50 pm
No cuppa joe was that,
savvy marketing transformed it
into a five dollar brew.
Comment by Dave Taylor — September 24, 2006 @ 5:50 pm
Three dollar coffee?
Drink all you want - please drink MORE!
I’m a stock holder
Comment by Leo — September 24, 2006 @ 6:15 pm
Hazelnut latte
Overpriced addictive bean
Caffeinate my day
Comment by no-blog-rachel — September 24, 2006 @ 6:33 pm
Mid-day pick me up
Triple grande latte please
Four bucks? Usury.
Morning work commute.
Lawrence and El Camino
Drive-through Starbucks. Mmmm.
Charred bean elixir
Legal crack for working man
I can quit right now
Comment by Grumpy Old Man — September 25, 2006 @ 3:19 pm
Need fix now, oh God
am crack whore, without the crack
where’s my i.v. drip?
yes, would love pastry
you upsell me like no other
you sweet barista
Comment by PBandJ — September 25, 2006 @ 3:51 pm
Only game in town
Since they ran the cool shops out
Man this stuff is crap
Comment by Patti Beadles — September 26, 2006 @ 1:06 am
Frapuccinos suck
We slurp empty calories
No wonder we’re fat
Comment by Patti Beadles — September 26, 2006 @ 1:07 am
Cookie cutter stores
Boring, soulless little shops
And the coffee’s gross
Comment by Patti Beadles — September 26, 2006 @ 1:07 am
Where’s the aroma?
It’s only the roasted taste,
so uninteresting.
Comment by Carlo Milono — September 26, 2006 @ 10:56 pm
I went to Starbucks
“Do they have wireless here?”
No. They have latte.
Comment by Ron Drake — September 27, 2006 @ 10:27 pm
Since the one in my town is the local teen hangout and has a window seat outside, we get:
Teenagers’ feet block-
ing sidewalks, frappuccinos,
stinking cigarettes
Comment by Stef — September 27, 2006 @ 10:30 pm
A boring night class,
The teacher drones on and on….
Triple Latte, Please!
Teaching at night school,
Ungratefull students bore her….
Triple Latte, Please!
Students and Teachers
Why not just meet at Starbucks?
Triple Latte, Please!
Comment by Rolandhand — September 27, 2006 @ 11:03 pm
This isn’t a Haiku, but it is Starbucks-inspired non-rhyming poetry… several months ago, I suddenly realized just how many trochees they have on their menu…
vente double decaf latte
grande mocha cappucino
etc. etc.
it was all reminding me of Hiawatha
(By the shores of Gitche Gumee,
By the shining Big-Sea-Water,
etc.)
So…
At the Palo Alto Starbucks
(not the one near town and country,
but the one on el camino –
close to where it crosses meadow
ordered nonfat decaf latte
at the counter the barrista
asked me did I want that vente?
no, I said, just give me grande
grande nonfat decaf latte –
maybe could you make that double?
double grande nonfat latte?
nonfat decaf double latte?
sure she said, that’s no problemo
very soon they called my name out
telling me my drink was ready,
quickly I ran up and got it
I ran up and got my latte
got my latte from the counter
took my latte to the table
took it to the little table
where they keep the sprinkly sugar
and the stir-rods, and the holders,
(cardboard sleeves to guard ones fingers
from the burning heat of coffee)
then I sprinkled chocolate on it
sprinkled chocolate on my latte
flecks of ghiradelli chocolate
sprinkled onto nonfat milkfoam
…..
I should go on, but then I ran out of steam (r-r!)
Comment by Ted — September 28, 2006 @ 12:13 pm
Oh, and I remember this haiku from years ago — but it wasn’t about Starbucks, just a mediocre coffee shop on campus:
“It pisses me off –
they always scald the milk here!”
“Just get espresso.”
Comment by Ted — September 28, 2006 @ 12:19 pm
ETERNITY
Brain fog when I rise
Stumble toward my maker
Mr. Coffee slow
Comment by Maureen — September 28, 2006 @ 1:59 pm
Super America
Half filled with dark roast
Vanilla capuccino
24 ounces - all mine
Comment by Maureen — September 28, 2006 @ 2:02 pm
Teaspoon disolving acid brew
over-priced thick throat gluck
Where the diner was
Comment by Hal — September 28, 2006 @ 2:03 pm
HOME BREW
Toastmaster grinder
Behold! A fine powdered gold
The mills of the gods
Comment by Maureen — September 28, 2006 @ 2:17 pm
Never had a cup!
What is the big attraction?
I drink juice instead.
Comment by KEN — September 28, 2006 @ 3:56 pm
Truly crap coffee
Price is daylight robbery
Others offer more
Comment by angry_mutant — September 29, 2006 @ 12:35 am
Tall, grande, venti–
What in the world was wrong with
Small, medium, large?
Comment by David — October 14, 2006 @ 11:44 pm
Starbucks Barrista
Connect discover respond
Be legendary
Comment by weylon — March 15, 2008 @ 12:41 pm