"Anne means 'full of prayer, mercy and grace' ~ I figure two out of three ain't bad."

How to Get Rid of Static in Your Hair in 3 Easy Steps


And you can quote me: "During the winter months, especially for those of us with very fine hair, getting rid of static electricity in our hair can be a real problem. Off comes the hat, and out come the flyaways - enough static in your hair to make it look like you've got your hand on an invisible Van De Graaff generator. Here's how to remedy staticy hair in 3 easy steps."

Posted in Observations, November 18th, 2014


Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

During the winter months, especially for those of us with very fine hair, getting rid of static electricity in our hair can be a real problem. Off comes the hat, and out come the flyaways – enough static in your hair to make it look like you’ve got your hand on an invisible Van De Graaff generator. Here’s how to remedy staticy hair in 3 easy steps.

how to get rid of static in hair

Step 1

Use a really decent amount of a good quality conditioner on your hair in the shower. Especially along the length of your hair and on the ends. I keep a wide-toothed comb in the shower and comb it through, to make sure that my hair is evenly coated. I also wash my hair first when in the shower, and pile my conditioner-saturated hair on top of my head with a wide-toothed hair clip, so that it really soaks in while I am in the shower.

Step 2

When you get out of the shower, if at all possible, don’t brush or comb your hair (which you shouldn’t do while it’s wet anyways – except of course when you are running conditioner through it in the shower). Instead, use your fingers as combs to detangle your hair and arrange it as you want it. Then let it air dry!

Step 3

Get rid of your plastic (usually nylon) bristled brushes and plastic toothed combs, at least for the winter. Instead, use metal (hair metal, it’s not just for glam bands any more!), preferably stainless steel.

But here’s the thing: stainless steel combs made for people are very expensive!

Don’t believe me? Check out this $39.00 stainless steel comb!

Now check out this stainless steel dog comb:

Now, if you want to spend $39.00 on a comb, that’s your business. But I’d rather have the dog comb (and I do!) and take myself to dinner and a movie with the $31.50 I saved. And really, who’s going to know it’s a dog comb?

Hair brushes with metal bristles (technically called “pins”) are more reasonably priced for people:

These three easy steps should help get you all the way there – or at least nearly all the way there (they have certainly helped me). For extra dry staticy days, spray a little leave-in conditioner on your hands (not your hair), or on your (metal!) brush, and then apply it with your hands or brush down the length of your hair. I use ACURE Organic Argan Oil leave-in conditioner, because I love it, and it makes my hair soft but not flat or weighed down, and it does take care of that last little bit of static.

I live in bone-dry, cold Colorado, and these steps have helped me immensely. I hope that they help you as much as they have helped me!

Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

More posts:

No Comments »

"Anne means 'full of prayer, mercy and grace' ~ I figure two out of three ain't bad."

How to Pack Padded, Fitted or Formed Bras for Travel in Your Luggage


And you can quote me: "Go to any high end department or lingerie store and you will get the same advice: don't fold your padded, formed, or fitted bras with the cups nesting in each other! By turning one cup inside-out, you will damage and ultimately break down that cup. So just how are you supposed to pack your padded or fitted bras in your luggage? Here's how I do it."

Posted in Observations, October 29th, 2014


Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

Go to any high end department or lingerie store and you will get the same advice: don’t fold your padded, formed, or fitted bras with the cups nesting in each other! By turning one cup inside-out, you will damage and ultimately break down that cup. So just how are you supposed to pack your padded or fitted bras in your luggage?

Well, you could buy one of these molded travel cases made for padded bras, but they are bulky, taking up way too much space in your suitcase, and adding too much weight.

So here’s what I do. For this you will need:

2 quart-size plastic food storage bowls
1 medium packing cube (I like this set)
Your padded bras

how to pack padded bras

 

Arrange the two bowls in your packing cube like this:

how to pack padded bras

 

Place your first padded bra cup-down into the bowls (one cup in each bowl):

how to pack padded bras

 

Nest your other padded bras, one at a time, on top:

how to pack padded bras

 

One at a time, starting with the top-most bra (the one you put in last) and working your way down to the bottom-most bra (the one you put in first), fold the straps into the cups:

how to pack padded bras

 

At this point you can either flip the whole thing over and zip up your packing cube, or just zip up your packing cube without flipping the bras and bowls over – whichever works best for you. Be sure that the rims of the bowls aren’t pinching your padding, and if you need to, put a rolled up pair of socks or something else inside the cups (depending on your bra cup size, the straps may not sufficiently fill the cups to give them the support that they need):

how to pack padded bras

 

how to pack padded bras

 

As you can see, this is way less bulky than a special case!

Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

More posts:

No Comments »

"Anne means 'full of prayer, mercy and grace' ~ I figure two out of three ain't bad."

If You Want to Change the World… Love a Man


And you can quote me: "This is the companion poem to "If you want to change the world...love a woman," by Lisa Citore."

Posted in Poetry, September 9th, 2014


Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

This is the companion poem to “If you want to change the world…love a woman,” by Lisa Citore.

If You Want to Change the World, Love a Man

If you want to change the world, love a man, really love him.
Find the one whose eyes are like blazing suns,
that make you look away the first time,
that pierce right through you,
blinding you to everything but the moment,
melting you into a puddle of soft pastel light,
even though you cringe at the color, pink.

The one who stops your thinking,
who sends your lashes fluttering
and all the blood rushing to your cheeks.
The slow-to-speak-one,
whose smile is like a flute,
who summons honey bee songs,
blossom songs and morning bird songs
with his listening.

The fallen-sky-one with the mark on his back,
where he lost his feathers from flying too close to a star.

The broken one in search of his wings,
who tells you the story of how to make fire.

If you want to change the world, love a man
beyond your fear of being burned.

Beyond unforgiveness and the walls you’ve built
to protect your sovereignity and anonymity.

Love him beyond old wounds and lies
you believed to be truth,
the hole in your heart from an absent father,
the scar on your sacred flower left by thieves.

Beyond past lives and the memory
you keep like a shrine to betrayal
when you fell to your knees in the ashes of your village,
and love became a field of bones.

Lift your darkened face to him who stands before you.
Take his hand and let him raise you to your feet.

Trust him to hold you as you tremble and weep in his arms for all that has been lost and found in this holy instant.

If you want to change the world, love a man
Beyond your faithlessness
and your secret hatred of humanity
Beyond all your judgment and self righteous projection.

The stone on your heart is as ancient
as the thought that you had to deny His existence
to know your power.

You are no less God than you ever were.
Man is no more guilty than Woman is innocent.

Love him for bearing the burden of desire in his sex
so your temple could remain whole unto itself-
for taking on the split aspect of mind
that seemed to abandon the oneness of heaven
so that you might know the joy of Its extension.

Love the ecstatic, primal root
castrated by religion as the root of all evil-
the channel of divine creative impulse-
that sparks the seeds of life, death and birth
from the womb of space and time.

Love the humble guardian and warrior
Man has been to Woman
even as he hunts her,
even in his drive towards self gratification,
which ultimately is the portal to soul union.

Love the violator who holds the mirror
to everything you have disowned within yourself-
so that all your desire, your creative impulse
may be freed
from the chains of separation, lack and guilt
and you can finally trust your Self.

If you want to change the world, love a man
in all his instinctual animal nature,
in all his hunger and devotion to beauty.

Love him beyond your vanity and pridefulness,
your gilded possessiveness and need to special-
beyond your well thought out conditions for safety
and all your concepts of how a man
should be in relationship.

Love him beyond your anger at not getting your way,
beyond your terror of not knowing or being in control.

Love him in his relentless pursuit
to penetrate the deepest sanctuaries within you,
that hold the chaos of your strongest emotions,
your carefully guarded secrets of separation
between light and dark, virgin and whore,
man and woman, spirit and form.

Love him for opening the door to sensuality,
to your primordial self that is beyond duality,
for binding you to pleasure
even as the air closes in around you,
even as you writhe with madness,
cursing your incarnation as the enemy-
even as you contract and claw,
crying out in despair, such joy it brings.

Love him for not yielding
to your resistance to surrender-
for standing in his masculine power
even as you threaten to destroy him.

If you want to change the world, love your man
for leaving you to live his purpose,
whether it’s for a day, a week, months or years.

Love him for breaking his own heart over and over-
for holding the tension and balance
of polarity and intimacy,
of distance and closeness.

Love his need for silence and solace-
for keeping some of his mystery to himself-
not that he has anything to hide,
but so you will always have surprises!

Love his evolutionary nature
that seeks new experiences,
that can never be satisfied-
for his boundless curiosity,
that if allowed to be free
might be your own liberation
from complacency.

Love him for shining independently
from the seat of his own majesty-
for not needing, yet choosing you
from a place of knowing his magnificence.

Love him for being your patient direction and destiny-
for returning to you
your own brightness through the dark night-
for helping you to remember
the one and only relationship you’ve ever had
and tried to forget-
for bringing you to that vulnerable, powerless
abiding place of surrender
you’ve been afraid of and waiting for all your life-
where you can finally be consumed by Love-
where you can finally be claimed by God.

Lisa Citore, 2013

Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

More posts:

No Comments »

"Anne means 'full of prayer, mercy and grace' ~ I figure two out of three ain't bad."

Back from the Word Processing Course I Say to My Old Typewriter


And you can quote me: "I have been searching for this poem for years and years. I first read it in an undergraduate poetry class, decades ago. I had it in a file on a computer many years ago, but lost the file. I was astonished that I couldn't find it online, only to realize tonight that I had been searching for "back from the word processor" and it is actually "back from the word processing course.""

Posted in Poetry, June 2nd, 2014


Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

I have been searching for this poem for years and years. I first read it in an undergraduate poetry class, decades ago. I had it in a file on a computer many years ago, but lost the file. I was astonished that I couldn’t find it online, only to realize tonight that I had been searching for “back from the word processor” and it is actually “back from the word processing course.”

In any event, I am so very happy to have found it again! Here it is:

Back from the Word Processing Course, I say to My Old Typewriter

Michael Blumenthal

Old friend, you
who were once in the avant-garde,
you of the thick cord
and battered plug,
the slow and deliberate characters
proportionally spaced, shall we
go on together as before?
Shall we remain married
out of the cold dittos of conviction
and habit? Or should we move on
to some new technology of ease
and embellishment–Should I run off
with her, so much like you when
you were young, my aged Puella
of the battered keys, so lovely
in that bleached light of the first morning?

Old horse,
what will it be like
when the next young filly
comes along? How will I love you,
crate of my practised strokes,
when she cries out: new new
and asks me to dance again?
Oh plow for now, old boat,
through these familiar waters,
make the tides come in
once more! Concubined love,
take me again into your easy arms,
make this page wild once more
like a lustful sheet! Be wet,
sweet toy, with your old ink;
vibrate those aging hips again
beneath these trembling hands.

Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

More posts:

No Comments »

"Anne means 'full of prayer, mercy and grace' ~ I figure two out of three ain't bad."

Quick List of Conscious Cleanse Allowed Foods


And you can quote me: "Having just posted the list of Conscious Cleanse forbidden foods, I thought I'd also post a quick list of Concious Cleanse allowed foods. As with the other list, you can screen shot this list so that you can have it with you when you are shopping, or eating out."

Posted in Recipes and Food, February 23rd, 2014


Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

Having just posted the list of Conscious Cleanse forbidden foods, I thought I’d also post a quick list of Concious Cleanse allowed foods – well, the allowed produce, as that is the thing you will most often be wondering about at the grocery store. As with the other list, you can screen shot this list so that you can have it with you when you are shopping, or eating out (although this list is much longer, so it may take a few screen shots!)

As I mentioned in the previous article, Conscious Cleanse is not a ‘traditional’ cleanse, as you might imagine a cleanse to be. It’s not fasting, it’s not drinking weird concoctions. In that way it isn’t really a cleanse at all. But, it is a cleanse in that by following its prescribed lists of foods to avoid, and foods on which to fill up, your body gets cleansed of foods and related toxins that may be impacting your various bodily systems (immune, digestive) and functions.

Here is the list of vegetables and fruits allowed on the Conscious Cleanse.

List of Conscious Cleanse Allowed Food – Vegetables and Fruits

Vegetables

  • Artichokes
  • Arugula
  • Asparagus
  • Avocados
  • Beets
  • Beet Tops
  • Bell Peppers (but not hot peppers)
  • Bok Choy
  • Brussel Sprouts
  • Cabbage
  • Carrots
  • Cauliflower
  • Celery
  • Chard
  • Collard Greens
  • Cucumber
  • Dandelion Greens
  • Green Beans
  • Green Onions
  • Kale
  • Leeks
  • Okra
  • Onions
  • Parnsips
  • Radishes
  • Romaine
  • Shallots
  • Snow Peas
  • Spinach
  • Sprouts
  • Wild Mushrooms
  • Zucchini
  • Fruits

  • Apples
  • Apricots
  • Bananas
  • Blackberries
  • Blueberries
  • Cantaloupe
  • Cherries
  • Coconut
  • Grapes
  • Honeydew
  • Kiwi
  • Lemons
  • Limes
  • Mangoes
  • Nectarines
  • Papaya
  • Peaches
  • Pears
  • Pineapple
  • Plums
  • Raspberries
  • Watermelon
  • Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

    More posts:

    No Comments »

    "Anne means 'full of prayer, mercy and grace' ~ I figure two out of three ain't bad."

    The List of Conscious Cleanse Forbidden Foods


    And you can quote me: "If you are doing the Conscious Cleanse, here the list of Conscious Cleanse forbidden foods (well, the beauty of the Conscious Cleanse is that nothing is actually forbidden, but this is the list of foods to avoid on the Conscious Cleanse)."

    Posted in Recipes and Food, February 23rd, 2014


    Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

    If you are doing the Conscious Cleanse, here the list of Conscious Cleanse forbidden foods (well, the beauty of the Conscious Cleanse is that nothing is actually forbidden, but this is the list of foods to avoid on the Conscious Cleanse).

    If you are not familiar with the Conscious Cleanse, it is not like a ‘traditional’ cleanse, which has you fasting and drinking lemonade laced with maple syrup and cayenne pepper. The Conscious Cleanse is actually a way of eating – eliminating certain foods, and consciously combining other foods – to give your digestive and immune systems both a break, and a boost. The reviews of Conscious Cleanse have been nothing short of glowing, which is, in fact, a word that appears over and over in the reviews as people rave about their “glowing skin”.

    Anyways, here is a handy list of foods to avoid while on the Conscious Cleanse. (Hint: Take a screen shot of the list with your mobile phone and carry it with you everwhere!)

    List of Conscious Cleanse Forbidden Foods to Avoid

  • Corn
  • Soy
  • Wheat and any other Gluten
  • Peanuts
  • Dairy
  • Eggs
  • Sugar
  • Chocolate
  • Grapefruit
  • Oranges
  • Tomatoes
  • Potatoes
  • Eggplant
  • Chili Peppers
  • Squash
  • Sweet Potatoes
  • Shellfish
  • Strawberries
  • Yeast
  • Caffeine
  • Alcohol
  • Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

    More posts:

    1 Comment »

    "Anne means 'full of prayer, mercy and grace' ~ I figure two out of three ain't bad."

    When is the Dunkin Donuts in Boulder Opening


    And you can quote me: "If you are wondering "when does the Dunking Donuts in Boulder open?", wonder no more. I have it straight from the horse's mouth."

    Posted in Recipes and Food, February 12th, 2014


    Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

    If you are wondering “when does the Dunkin Donuts in Boulder open?”, wonder no more. I have it straight from the horse’s mouth.

    The Dunkin’ Donuts, which is occupying the space where the Kentucky Fried Chicken used to be, next to Taco Bell, on 28th just north of Valmont, has a target opening date of Tuesday, March 4th (2014).

    Save the date!

    Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

    More posts:

    No Comments »

    "Anne means 'full of prayer, mercy and grace' ~ I figure two out of three ain't bad."

    How the Government Knows if You Have Health Insurance


    And you can quote me: "How does the government know whether you have health insurance? A lot has been made of the government mandate, under the Affordable Care Act ("ACA"), or "ObamaCare", that everybody has to have health insurance, or pay a penalty. This penalty is known as the "shared responsibility penalty". But how do they know?"

    Posted in Observations, Serious, February 10th, 2014


    Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

    How does the government know whether you have health insurance? A lot has been made of the government mandate, under the Affordable Care Act (“ACA”), or “ObamaCare”, that everybody has to have health insurance, or pay a penalty. This penalty is known as the “shared responsibility penalty”. But how do they know?

    I was very curious about this, and so I did some research.

    As it turns out, starting next year (2015) there will be a section on your Federal tax return in which you will have to confirm that you have health insurance, or pay the penalty if you don’t.

    In otherwords, it will be self-reported.

    But before you think “Well, I can just say that I do when I don’t,”, bear in mind that your Social Security Number (“SSN”) is tied not only to your tax return, but also to your health insurance – it’s one of the first things that insurers (and indeed, medical providers) ask for these days. So, while you might get away with it, you might not – and especially if you are audited.

    Moreover, employers are now required to report employer-provided health insurance on your W-2. Says the IRS:


    The value of the health care coverage will be reported in Box 12 of the Form W-2, with Code DD to identify the amount. There is no reporting on the Form W-3 of the total of these amounts for all the employer’s employees.

    In general, the amount reported should include both the portion paid by the employer and the portion paid by the employee. See the chart, below, and the questions and answers for more information.

    An employer is not required to issue a Form W-2 solely to report the value of the health care coverage for retirees or other employees or former employees to whom the employer would not otherwise provide a Form W-2.

    It’s not too far of a stretch to imagine that for any return that does not have a value in Box 12 of the W-2, those returns will be flagged for closer scrutiny, looking specifically at the section on health insurance.

    Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

    More posts:

    No Comments »

    "Anne means 'full of prayer, mercy and grace' ~ I figure two out of three ain't bad."

    Puzzled by “ONDJFMAMJJASO” on Your Bill? Here’s What it Means


    And you can quote me: "If you have received a utility bill - such as an Excel Energy bill - or some other statement of account, and are puzzled by a graph which tells you your "ONDJFMAMJJASO" usage, don't feel alone. And don't feel foolish when we tell you what ONDJFMAMJJASO stands for. Depending on when you read it (and this is a clue), it could also instead say NDJFMAMJJASON, DJFMAMJJASOND, JFMAMJJASONDJ, FMAMJJASONDJF, MAMJJASONDJFM, AMJJASONDJFMA, MJJASONDJFMAM, JJASONDJFMAMJ, JASONDJFMAMJJ, ASONDJFMAMJJA, or SONDJFMAMJJAS."

    Posted in Bad Writing, October 9th, 2013


    Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

    If you have received a utility bill – such as an Excel Energy bill – or some other statement of account, and are puzzled by a graph which tells you your “ONDJFMAMJJASO” usage, don’t feel alone. And don’t feel foolish when we tell you what ONDJFMAMJJASO stands for. Depending on when you read it (and this is a clue), it could also instead say NDJFMAMJJASON, DJFMAMJJASOND, JFMAMJJASONDJ, FMAMJJASONDJF, MAMJJASONDJFM, AMJJASONDJFMA, MJJASONDJFMAM, JJASONDJFMAMJ, JASONDJFMAMJJ, ASONDJFMAMJJA, or SONDJFMAMJJAS.

    Yes, each of those letters stands for a month of the year, in order, and the group of letters together stands for your month-to-month usage or charges or whatever it’s revealing about your account.

    But often it isn’t clear! Take, for example, an Excel Energy statement. What it should say is something like “This is a month-by-month comparison for the past year.” Instead it says “Your monthly electricity usage.” It would not be unreasonable for you to think this means your usage for the month, and try to make ONDJFMAMJJASO somehow fit “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday….”, which of course it doesn’t.

    If you are reading this, it’s likely because you Googled (or Binged or Yahooed) that odd set of letters, which also means that it’s likely that the company that sent you the statement also did not make it clear just what it was you were looking at. Take heart in knowing that the vast majority of others who have read this article arrived at it the exact same way, for the exact same reason.

    Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

    More posts:

    1 Comment »

    "Anne means 'full of prayer, mercy and grace' ~ I figure two out of three ain't bad."

    Vegetarian and Vegan Hemorrhoid Treatment


    And you can quote me: "Conscientious vegetarians and vegans who are having problems with hemorrhoids have for years had nowhere to turn for hemorrhoid relief. Most if not all hemorrhoid ointments and hemorrhoid creams (in fact, generally all hemorrhoid products) contained, among other things, shark oil (technically shark liver oil). The best known hemorrhoid ointment, Preparation H, was infamous for its use of shark's liver oil. Now, however, we are happy to report, there are several hemorrhoid treatments from Preparation H that not only do not contain shark oil, but are completely vegan, and all of them are vegetarian."

    Posted in Observations, August 13th, 2013


    Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

    Conscientious vegetarians and vegans who are having problems with hemorrhoids have for years had nowhere to turn for hemorrhoid relief. Most if not all hemorrhoid ointments and hemorrhoid creams (in fact, generally all hemorrhoid products) contained, among other things, shark oil (technically shark liver oil). The best known hemorrhoid ointment, Preparation H, was infamous for its use of shark’s liver oil. Now, however, we are happy to report, there are several hemorrhoid treatments from Preparation H that not only do not contain shark oil, but are completely vegan, and all of them are vegetarian.

    I know this because this week I spoke with Emily, a customer service representative with the Preparation H brand (their parent company is Pfizer). Please note that I do not know about Pfizer’s animal testing policies, and so that is a separate question. What I know is about the ingredients in their hemorrhoid products.

    No Preparation H product sold within the United States contains shark liver oil

    As of the writing of this article (August 13, 2013) all of their products are vegetarian (meaning that they contain no ingredients for which an animal had to die), and in fact only two of their products contain any animal products at all – and those products are bees wax and lanolin.

    The following Preparation H products contain no animal ingredients:

    Preparation H Cooling Gel
    Preparation H Cream
    Preparation H Suppositories

    The following Preparation H products contain either lanolin or beeswax:

    Preparation H Ointment (beeswax)
    Preparation H Wipes (lanolin)

    There is also a homeopathic hemorrhoid cream out there, that is vegan, called Nelsons H Plus Care Hemorrhoid Cream. It is available from Amazon here.

    Get notified by email of new posts at Mange Merde!

    More posts:

    No Comments »