It’s Ok to Brush - Just Don’t Inhale
And you can quote me: "Swallowing toothpaste is one thing. Inhaling it is another, and let me tell you that when that searing hot mint hits your delicate pulmonary tract, you experience a full minute and a half of "oh please God let me die NOW" intense pain with every attempt at breathing."
Posted in My Day, July 27th, 2006
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Who would ever have thought that a seemingly innocent thing like mint toothpaste could incapacitate someone with what can only be described as a “phasers on stun” response to being accidentally inhaled?
Well, let me tell you, don’t try this at home, kids.
When you think about the act of toothbrushing, and how often you do it (uh, hopefully), the fact that you probably don’t hold your breath when you brush your teeth (although you should if you don’t brush your teeth - at least if you are standing near me), and the proximity of all that toothpastey backwash to your epiglottis, well, it’s amazing that this doesn’t happen more often. Certainly it’s the first time that it has happened in my forty-mumbledy-some-odd years.
But there it was. I was brushing my teeth, with Crest cool-as-ice-ultra-minty gel, and somehow, a tiny bit ended up going down the wrong way.
And let me tell you - when that searing hot mint hits your delicate pulmonary tract, you experience a full minute and a half of “oh please God let me die NOW” intense pain with every attempt at breathing, every futile cough which only serves to re-sear the entire length of your trachea as you desparately claw at your throat and chest and wonder if you will ever live to see another episode of Knotts Landing.
Then for the next five minutes the coughing hurts somewhat less (only somewhat), and you have the bizarre sensation of having minty fresh breath that is minty fresh all the way from the bottom of your lungs on up.
An altogether unpleasant experience, and I think I’m switching to Tom’s of Maine orange/mango toothpaste from here on out.
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More posts:
Last night I inhaled a dollop of arm & hammer toothpaste and had a near death experience.I’m in a duo & w/3 gigs this weekend my larynx is lammenting. Googled the experience & found you. God, you’re cute!
Bill
Comment by bill duryea — August 20, 2008 @ 11:36 am
This 46 year old did the same thing this morning! My lungs still hurt and it’s almost 4pm. Been hacking all day. NOT fun!
Comment by Shelley — December 18, 2009 @ 1:52 pm
Just did the same except mine was aquafresh whiting with “micro active foaming action”. The first 5 minutes I thought I was going to die… Felt like I needed to puke but different…. Throat is now extremely irritated and no matter how many glasses of I drink, this burning sensation is not going away.
Comment by Keith — January 16, 2010 @ 1:46 am
I think I both swallowed and inhaled; I’m only experiencing minor examples of the symptoms you all described. I did vomit fairly soon afterwards, but unfortunately that hasn’t helped…
Comment by Charlie — January 25, 2010 @ 6:06 pm
I have managed to do this twice and both times I too felt like death would be a far better option. Both times I spat up blood, had the horrible minty feeling in my chest, sore throat, mucus and vomiting. I learned from the first time NOT to drink water… For some reason it creates a very frothy and bubbly foam that makes it worse. Constantly clearing your throat is not going to help… You just need to feel the pain and know stupidity caused this
Comment by Jenn — January 27, 2010 @ 8:39 am